Our Eight Craziest Han Theories For Fast And Furious 9
Jun 26, 2021   •   Matthew Arcilla
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Jun 26, 2021   •   Matthew Arcilla
The ninth installment in the Fast & Furious franchise is almost here. Known as F9: The Fast Saga or Fast & Furious 9 depending on which film market you’re from, the movie features Dom, Letty, Roman (Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, et al) and the rest of the Fast Family face off against Dom’s brother Jakob (John Cena). Jakob is an assassin with skillz working with their old enemy Cipher (Charlize Theron).
What we’re now calling The Fast Saga – because that’s what Universal Pictures is telling us to call it now – continues to lean harder and harder into improbability and insanity. The gang has an underground base which I now refuse to call anything other than “The Fast Cave” and they talking about things like “protection from what’s coming,” like they’re expecting Thanos to show up.
We still don’t know when Filipino fans will be able to watch F9, but ever since the trailer dropped in 2020, we just couldn’t stop thinking about the mind-blowing reveal that was the return of Han (Sung Kang), who hasn’t been seen since his post-credit death in Fast & Furious 6 – originally marketed as Furious Six in some markets. In the trailer, he emerges from the shadows into the Fast Cave with snacks in hand. “Nice clubhouse,” he says before giving Dom a hug. Wait, what? If Han’s here, who did Deckard Shaw kill? Where has he been?
So many questions need to be answered by the sudden return of a character whose story begins in Fast & Furious – the fourth film not to be confused with the original The Fast and the Furious – and ends in the third film, Tokyo Drift, because this franchise has a strange sense of chronology and continuity. But that won’t stop me, an intellectual, from trying to puzzle out how Han is still alive.
It’s possible that Han has been augmented by the very same technology that turned Brixton Lore (Idris Elba) – the villain of last year’s Hobbs & Shaw spin-off – into a “black Superman.” Maybe he’s out for vengeance against Magdalene “Queenie” Shaw, whose sons Owen and Deckard caused him great suffering. Or maybe he’s up to something else…
The idea of twin siblings – usually invoked in these kinds of movies to invoke mirror rivalries – hasn’t been introduced to Fast & Furious but that doesn’t mean it’s too late to start. But unlike Jakob and Dominic Toretto, Han and his brother Khan actually look like each other. They’re even played by the same actor. What if Khan has a vendetta against the Shaws? Or what if he blames Toretto’s Family for the death of Han? Who knows?!
There’re a lot of characters in this movie. We’ve got a fast family of six forming up the main crew, with Tokyo Drift’s Sean and Earl rolling in. What if this is all just a ruse and Han is actually still dead? What if Han is actually an AI that’s part of the Fast Cave and has the personality matrix of Han? Heuristic Assistance Network (HAN) would help fabricate new car tech, provides tactical oversight and keeps the crew on the move.
The death of Han was a cruel tragedy – taken from the world by a giant muscular hedgehog with a Cockney accent – and when he ascended to the heavens, it’s possible he met with an unhappy God of Cars. Wreathed in high performance tires and clouded by the fumes of NOS, the God of Cars sent Han back to Earth and said, “The roads are no longer fast, the highways no longer furious. Use your powers of drift, Han, to spread my gospel.”
Alternatively, what if Han is in fact the God of Cars made flesh. In a mystery we cannot fathom, the God of Cars was transubstantiated into mortal form. But when his car blew up, his divine spirit was liberated and he ascended into his divine form. He traversed the astral plane and evolved into a being that is both god and man – and then returned as the Avatar of Cars, able to transform between man and car at will.
We’ve hit peak geek culture when mainstream franchises like the DC Extended Universe and Sony’s Universe of Marvel Characters have embraced the concept of the multiverse. So I think it’s safe to assume that a multiverse known as the Furiverse isn’t out of the question. What if this Han is actually from the Furiousverse’s Earth-2?
“My name is Han Lue and I’m the NOS-est man alive. When I was on a heist, I saw my girlfriend get killed by doing the impossible. Then my car got T-boned by someone I didn’t even know. That accident made me the impossible. To the outside world, I’m just the snackiest dude alive, but secretly I use the NOS Force to enforce justice, and one day I’ll find who killed my girlfriend and get vengeance for my Family.”
In the trailer, Letty and Dom talk about needing protection from “what’s coming.” My first thought was Thanos, but what if it’s this Han they’re worried about? What if this Han is a villain infiltrating their ranks? Whether he’s twin brother Khan, or a rogue Necromonger come to spread the word of the dead or the second of the last Furyan who wishes to destroy all the Vin Diesel’s of the universe, this Han might be up to no good.
What’s your Han theory? Wrong answers only.
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