By now, everyone should know: Facebook is renaming itself next week. Not that it really solves anything, or changes anything.
In an effort to focus on the new direction Facebook wants to head towards, the so-called metaverse, the social media giant is renaming itself. We still have no idea what it’s going to be called by next week, but here are a few Facebook new name ideas that they left on the cutting room floor. Wonder why?
Think Pittsburgh, or Hamburg, or any of those other names for places.
Pros: It sounds benign and inoffensive.
Cons: It sounds benign and inoffensive.
Because that’s what we should be reading for information about stuff instead of Facebook.
Pros: It reminds us what our priorities should be.
Cons: Unleeeeeess that textbook was published by *i*** Publishing, of course…
We’re just a Friendster reference away from a total throwback!
Pros: Tom of MySpace wouldn’t mind the props at this point.
Cons: Who knew the march of technology would also be backwards?
Just stating how it feels sometimes, y’know?
Pros: Highly accurate
Cons: Highly accurate.
That algorithm is practically responsible for how some elections in some countries turned out.
Pros: It’s what that algorithm deserves.
Cons: But the one who set up that algorithm clearly is getting away with it.
Y’know, short for Fascist Splash.
Pros: It seems about right. -leaning, that is.
Cons: ervative Agenda.
Because here at SuperMeta, we’ve got it all for you!
Pros: There’s so much more, and such a lot.
Cons: Their customer support are not *snap* *snap* *clap* Happy To Serve!
Oh, Aldous Huxley. What would we ever do without you?
Pros: It truly is a brave new world.
Cons: Up next: one of those dystopic Battle-Royale style competitions, coming up!
Got any Facebook new name ideas? Pitch ’em in the comments!