If you’re tired of your usual fare of sleek CGI ghouls and HD gore, it’s time to step it up. Why not look into the classics and choose the ones that really hit a sour note with your (or someone else’s) phobias? Check these out for a cheap Halloween hellfest for you and your friends–just make sure they’re not actually suffering from any serious physical or psychological trauma.
WARNING: MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS.
8. Arachnophobia VS
Arachnophobia (fear of spiders)
With a movie named after an actual fear of arachnids (aka spiders), this should whet your creature feature appetite. Plus, it gives you the perfect opportunity to prank your friends in the dark with the help of a pack of store-bought plastic spiders, some fuzzy string and impeccable timing.
7. Zuma (1985)
VS Ophidiophobia (fear of snakes)
Anaconda squueeeze. Photo from sequel Anak ni Zuma (1978)
If your friends actually happen to like spiders but hate snakes, here’s a local 1985 classic derived from Pinoy comic book character Zuma, supposed evil demigod son of the Aztec feathered serpent diety Kukulkan. This was way back when Snooky Serna (not Andi Eigenmann) played Galema and the graphics and makeup were so awesomely gritty, it’ll make your skin crawl quite pleasantly.
Alternatively: you can watch Anaconda or better yet er, Snakes on a Plane (because there’s nothing worse than snakes on a mutha——‘ plane. Right? Righhht?).
6. Patayin Mo Sa Sindak Si Barbara
VS Syngenesophobia (fear of relatives)
Ah, the classic tragedy horror of having two sisters fall in love with the same man, only to have one commit suicide then come back as a vengeful ghost out to get the living sister. With some moral dilemmas and drama revolving around filial ties, it’s a psychological horror classic. If you manage to get a hold of the Celso Ad Castillo’s original (starring Susan Roces), give us a heads up.
5. Freddy VS Jason aka Hypnophobia (fear of sleep) VS Maskophobia (fear of masks)
See that ball? That’s you.
Between a masked psychopath in waking life (Jason Voorhees) and a blade-handed pyschopath that murders you in your dreams, you don’t really have much of a choice.
4. The Shining
VS Dementophobia (fear of madness)
Is your idea of terror along the lines of: cabin fever with the whole family in a hotel with a heavy past, a blank piece of paper (or Word file) moments before a deadline, or visions of all sorts of madness? If there’s anything we learned from this beautiful, mentally unsettling Kubrick film, it’s that all work and no play makes Jack a heeeere’s Johnny.
3. Shake Rattle and Roll 3
VS Coprophobia (fear of feces)
Why the third installation, and not the first two (or anything until–imagine that–the 15th)?
While this installation’s episodes are called Yaya, Ate and Nanay, the third might as well be synonymous to Undin. Once you’ve seen Undin, you’ll never go back…. to the loo to do number 2.
Just ask the protagonist Maloy (Manilyn Reynes), whose only weapon is the kindness of her heart, proving that not being a Mean Girl pays off.
2. Halimaw sa Banga
VS Tryptophobia (fear of holes), sort of
Speaking of Number 2 and dead/undead things coming out of holes (wells, tv screens, etc.), here’s a good reason why you shouldn’t stand next to large, ancient clay jars.
1. Stephen King’s “It”
vs. Coulrophobia (fear of clowns)
Pennywise (played by a young Tim Curry) could explain your longstanding fear of McDonald’s or birthday parties with Boyoyong Clowns. Enough said.
Also, if you’re a real sucker for punishment, check out this scene from Zombieland that sort of combines number 3 and 1.
BONUS: Village of the Damned (1960)
VS Pedophobia (fear of children)[/buffer]
There’s nothing scarier than falling prey to veiled cuteness and innocence, especially if there’s a whole village of it out to get you. Made in the same pedophobic vein as Omen and Children of the Corn, this should serve as a reminder to never fall prey to cuteness. Ever.
Know any movies that trigger our phobias? Share them with us in the Comments Section!