Being single is not a punishment or a curse, as some might believe. It a beautiful time in your life where you’re an independent individual who can do anything you want. The world is your oyster, as they would say. And yet, some don’t know how to deal with being single because they’re wired to think that the years of not being in a romantic relationship are punishments. Instead of moping around and convincing yourself no one loves you (ask your mom, she does), here’s what you can do instead.
Quit looking for the one
Guessing and wondering whether every person that walks through the door or passes you by will be “The One” is a tiring game to play. You’ll find yourself an emotional mess every time you’re disappointed. Quit drinking your weekends away or pining after an idea. So you haven’t found him/her yet. Okay, that does warrant for a couple of Sad Hours but you’ve got the rest of your life to live. Google once said love is like a butterfly, it settles upon you when you least expect it. So believe Google and wait for that butterfly!
Learn the basics of taking care of yourself
You’d be surprised to know a lot of young professionals these days don’t know how to cook. If we’re being honest, it’s a skill that’s slowly disappearing thanks to the hundreds of new restaurants opening yearly and all the instant food you can just pop in the microwave. So take the time to learn how to cook. You should also know how to properly clean a house (including the toilets) and tidy up a room. Come to think of it, these are basic human skills your future partner (and perhaps future kids) will thank you for.
Update your resume
Yes, this needs to be done regularly whether you’re planning on quitting your job or not. When should you update your resume? When you get promoted and when you finish a major project. This saves you time backtracking and missing out on important milestones. An updated resume is handy for when you suddenly want to pick up a side job, when someone asks for it, or worst case scenario, when you suddenly need to quit your current job.
Strengthen your friendships
Go on dates with your friends. When you’re in a romantic relationship, your world will orbit around one person and everyone else will take the back seat. Maybe it’s not that extreme but admit it, your priority will be your significant other. Without a significant other though, you have a chance to cultivate friendship and even be in contact with old friends. When you finally get into a relationship, you have strong pillars of friendship to lean on, people who will stay with you no matter what.
Develop your character by exploring things you like
Are you only interesting when you’re in a relationship? Then that’s a problem. Not to trigger your identity crisis but what kind of person are you when single? You might find that all your likes and dislikes and hobbies are all influenced by someone close to you but what do you really want as an individual? Take the time to develop your character. Get cultured, listen to podcasts, watch great movies, write, draw, hike, travel – the list could go on!
Spend time with married people
This sounds like a surefire way to trap you into a web of jealousy but in hindsight, it’s one of the wisest things you can spend your time on if you’re really planning on getting married someday. A wise man once said that marriage isn’t all rainbows and butterflies, it’s compromise that moves us along. The sweet kilig from boyfriends and girlfriends getting to know each other isn’t going to last – it’s an ~iLluSiOn~. What lasts is commitment, willingness to compromise, and unconditional love. So, you know, find a stable married couple and learn a thing or two from them.
Spend time with your family
As you grow older, you probably won’t notice that you tend to neglect your family most. The demands of work reduce your home to a simple boarding house and your family as “dorm-mates” you never see because you get home late. Your parents aren’t getting any younger and your siblings are growing older. In your single years, make it a point to spend as much time with them as you can. One day, when you’re married and with kids of your own, you’ll be missing the days life was simple. Make sure you have no regrets now.
Put your life in order
Figure out your career path and make clear goals for your professional life. Don’t just stop at your career either, create personal goals and write them down. Evaluate every few months to know if you’re on the right path to reaching them. The bottom line is, romantic relationships aren’t the end-all and be-all of life. You’re still an individual, still your own person, be comfortable in getting to know yourself better. This season in your life only comes once (or a couple of times if you’re the type to get into relationships often), so spend it wisely.
Got any more tips on how to deal with being single? Share them in the comments below!