Welp. ten waves of pre-orders, and ten waves of most of us mere mortals still sitting around, waiting for a chance to buy (yep, not even win) a PS5. Datablitz opens up slots for a mere 5 minutes each time, yet a few seconds into that very small window, you’re already SOL.
If you’re anything like me, failing ten times over and over to get a pre-order slot won’t dissuade me from trying an eleventh time. But because we know insanity is thinking that results would change if we keep doing the same thing, here now are 8 things we should do to make sure that we finally get to pre-order a PS5 the next time we get the chance.
8. Get a faster internet connection
If not fiber, or if that’s too much of a tall order, simply make sure nobody is using your net connection when that 5-minute window opens up. Nobody else can be using the internet for any other purpose.
Nobody. Sorry, Lola. Next time!
Pros: Practical and easy!
7. Make sure you’re actually registered to their newsletter.
A lot of first-timers think that visiting DB’s Facebook page a few minutes before it’s go time would allow them to get a shot at pre-ordering. They couldn’t be more wrong.
Checking my emails! My greatest weakness!
We’re going to make sure that if we want it, we won’t end up missing out on a technicality. Not this time, Satan!
Pros: Well, you can’t get a slot if you don’t even have this.
Cons: It only makes the nervous wait even more anxiety-inducing.
6. Get as many people as possible to maximize your odds.
Don’t confuse this with being a scalper — all it means is that a bunch of people who all intend to purchase a PS5 get together and do their best to make this happen within that very narrow window. If you work with a bunch of friends or your siblings, then hopefully, one of you end up getting a slot, and hey, chances are, you guys are going to be playing a lot of games together to begin with.
Otherwise, well, you’re all in the same room already, right? First person to be able to walk out of that room under their own power gets to buy the PS5! We’ve all seen Squid Game by now, we should know what to do.
Pictured: Wave 1.
Pros: Each person working with you multiplies your odds!
Cons: See above photograph.
5. Pray to every deity you know.
By now, you probably know that God doesn’t really play favorites with sports teams or PS5 pre-order slots. Therefore, if you belong to one of the major religions in the world, then praying to your God doesn’t really do much for your chances.
Ah, but what about the small g gods?
“Who are you calling ‘small?’”
These guys definitely play favorites, so currying the favor of a few of them, especially the gods associated with luck or speed should give you the edge you need.
Pros: Imagine the gods slugging it out for a PS5. Epic!
Cons: Imagine the gods accidentally hitting a PS5 in the middle of their slugfest. Noooooo!!!
4. Date someone working at Datablitz.
Relax, guys. This is not as terrible an idea as you think it is.
Not pictured: A store with staff as friendly as the guys from Datablitz.
May as well, right? This might be one of the most surefire methods to really get that much-coveted pre-order slot. After all, if there’s someone who would know the ins and outs of Datablitz’s arcane system, it would be somebody who actually works at Datablitz.
No judgments, guys. If this is what it takes, then by all means.
Pros: Hey, you get a console, and you get to date someone!
Cons: Would they even be interested in dating someone who doesn’t own a PS5? Tsk.
3. Offer eggs.
Some people might want to sacrifice live animals to have the best chances at being part of Wave 11, but we here at the 8List are more responsible people than that.
But offering eggs? That’s absolutely fair game. If it worked for the Sisters of St. Claire, it’s definitely gonna work for us!
Pros: People have been doing it for ages and swear by it!
Cons: You need to sacrifice breakfast. A small price to pay!
2. Sell your soul.
If deities can’t help, it’s time to turn to the other team!
Pros: They’re known to make good on their deals.
Cons: And then something bad happens to you because that’s how the devil rolls.
1. Get a gaming PC.
It worked for this guy.
Chances are, most of the games you intend to play on the PS5 are also available on the PC. And at better and more optimized settings, too!
Pros: No need to do any of the previous items to have this monster.
Cons: You mean other than the cost? Well, you’re keeping yourself from dating someone from Datablitz, I guess?
NOTE: This is clearly not a paid article by Datablitz.
Tell us which of these methods work for you!