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8 Questions I Would Ask If a Lexus Appeared In My Garage

  • Posted on Nov 5, 2021Nov 5, 2021
  • 2 minute read
  • Kel Fabie
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In recent news, Pharmally stockholder Ms. Rose Lin, despite magically finding an 8.8 Million-Peso luxury car in her garage, had no questions about this strange occurrence whatsoever.

Clearly, curiosity did not kill this cat.

Mere mortals like us, on the other hand, would probably end up asking questions if something like this actually happened. Very important questions like…

 

8. Where the hell did this come from?

The most obvious question to ask is what I’d lead with, because surely, even if someone gave this to me as a gift, I had better find out where this thing came from. After all…

Damn straight.

 

7. Am I being pranked?

I need to check for cameras or something because I’m guessing this has to be some elaborate setup.

Like so.

 

6. Surely, I can’t just register this?

How do you just register a luxury car that just magically appeared in your garage? Even David Copperfield knows he had to use plain old money to buy his mansions and private island.

Not pictured: legal tender.

 

5. Would this hurt my chances of running for public office?

I really like serving people and showing them I’m all about helping them. Would an 8.8 million car suddenly showing up in my garage make them think I’m unrelatable? Not really sure.

Totally relatable.

 

4. Bumblebee, is that you?

There’s more to this car than meets the eye.

Time to roll out!

 

3. Did I kill a boss monster last night that I just forgot about?

Is this what gamer kids call a loot drop? Inquiring minds need to know.


Where’s my level up?!?

 

2. Was I a really really good boy this year, Santa?

I still believe in Christmas.

“Lexus” is just the name of the reindeer you never heard about.

 

1. I have a garage?!?

Wait a minute. I live in an apartment!

Pictured: my garage. Or our taxes.

 

Ever found a Lexus in your garage? Tell us about your experience in the comments!


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Kel Fabie

Kel Fabie. is a DJ, host, mentalist, satirist, comedian, and a long-time contributor to 8List (Hello, ladies!). He has an Oscar, a Pulitzer, a Nobel, and two other weirdly-named pet dogs. He blogs on mistervader.com.

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