If you spend a lot of your time on the internet, chances are you’ve stumbled upon Ed Brown — otherwise known as No Neck Ed — and his Filipina girlfriend Rose. They are one of the most controversial couples from TLC’s show 90 Day Fiancé: Before The 90 Days and if you’re following their journey, it’s easy to see why. Aside from the over 20-year age gap, theirs is a prime example of a toxic relationship that went downhill pretty quickly.
Rose is from Caloocan, a single mother who met Ed online. Like any loving mother, she has dreams of giving her son, Prince, a better life and she saw an opportunity with Ed. Unfortunately, things didn’t turn out according to what she wanted. Instead of a fairytale love story, she was thrust into the middle of a nightmare instead.
Their saga on TLC has yet to reach its finale but I think we all know how their story ends. Here are just some of the few important lessons on love and life we gleaned from everything we’ve seen so far.
Deal with your partner’s flaws in private and never broadcast it in public
Here’s a tip for all the No Neck Eds out there: discussing problems with your partners isn’t bad, in fact it’s something that could prove helpful to the relationship, that is if handled correctly. Clearly, you shouldn’t insult your partner in public and especially not in front of a million viewers. Be decent, be tactful, be considerate. Don’t be like No Neck Ed who tried to “subtly” tell Rose that she has bad breath (she has an ulcer) by gifting her a Listerine bottle and a toothbrush. But what can we do, it’s “entertainment” television and sleazy guys like Ed live for the drama.
You don’t have the right to demand anything if you aren’t willing to do the same
Another tip, this time for people who have yet to watch the series: prepare a punching bag or a pillow to beat up because some scenes are bound to rile you up. For instance, Ed again “subtly” tried asking Rose to take an STD test saying it’s because he was unsure of her past since she’s reluctant to share it with him. Rose was visibly offended (we all love the face she makes when she can’t believe what he’s saying) and when she asked him to take the test with her, Ed refused. She was left at the table crying. It was clearly unfair and selfish of him to ask something of her and to turn her down once she asked the same of him.
You should respect your partner’s life and background
Rose never hid the fact that she is poor. Her house doesn’t have a kitchen or a bathroom and the room she shares with her son is small. Ed even tried spending one night at Rose’s house, which he criticized afterwards, saying it was humid, windowless, and small. The entire time that they were together, Ed expected Rose to act a certain way — fulfilling his wishes, following his every whim, and being downright rude about his “favors.” It’s obvious he believes she’s lower than him since he’s the one with the money and the foreigner taking her places.
Lying in a relationship is a red flag
Rose be having me weak pic.twitter.com/UaUc1zBvvR
— (@rahm3sh) April 29, 2020
Ed sent Rose photos of him before they even met and he lied about his height. Of course she’d be disappointed! She was maybe fine with the fact that he doesn’t have a neck but lying about his height added to the pile of disappointment.
You should learn to stand up for yourself
no neck ed been read pic.twitter.com/iZ7136ip7Z
— (@agliooIio) May 5, 2020
While No Neck Ed has been the laughingstock of Twitter for his lack of neck and manners, Rose has been praised for her attitude and her hilarious facial expressions. She’s a Filipina through and through! Every time Ed pulls a stunt such as telling her what to do, she listens to him but reacts in a way that says she definitely won’t be taking any crap from him.
You don’t deserve to be in a relationship with someone who degrades you
rosemarie from 90 day fiancée is a queen. she really knows what’s good for her. no neck ed was embarrassed of her and she broke up with him for that. i love her
— zahra (@zahraxfatima) May 4, 2020
There’s constructive criticism and then there’s blatant insults. People who really care for you will know how to approach sensitive subjects with tact. Degrading anyone especially on the basis of their social status and financial capabilities is rude. Be with someone who is proud to be with you, someone who will proudly show you to the world, no matter who you are.
Don’t expect your partners to be someone they’re not
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Throughout the series, Ed has been giving Rose hints and orders on how she should change herself. He gave her the mouthwash, commenting about her breath, before that, he gave her underwear and lingerie in a creepy way that suggested instead of it being a gift for her, it was a gift that would benefit him, and he insulted her hairy legs.
When you’re in a relationship, you’re sharing your life with another person, and vice versa. You don’t get to ask them to change everything that annoys you. Their choices, their preference. You can politely comment and maybe talk it over but you can’t impose. Don’t be a No Neck Ed.
Don’t mess with Filipinas
— Shannon (@shanruss07) May 4, 2020
Here’s a great lesson for anyone out there: don’t mess with Filipinas because they know their rights and they aren’t afraid to fight for it. Ed might have perceived Rose as a woman who doesn’t know what she’s doing and expected her to submit to him but it was a delight to watch Rose express her opinions and put him in place. She told him off multiple times and spoke her thoughts, language barrier (and NDAs) be damned. She spoke out on his accusations of her being a gold digger and called him out for lying and insulting her on TV. This woman is a legend.
While their 90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days series is yet to reach a conclusion, based on the latest episode and on Rose’s recent IG lives roasting Ed, we have a feeling they don’t end up together. Fine by us. Rosemarie Vega needs a lover in her life who would love her and accept her for who she really is.
What did you learn from No Neck Ed and Rose’s relationship?