8 Things We May As Well Just Have Paper Versions Of
May 5, 2023   •   Kel Fabie
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May 5, 2023   •   Kel Fabie
Thanks to a supply-chain snafu, it seems that we are just a matter of weeks away from having our driver’s licenses printed out on the back of official receipts as a stopgap measure because of course that’s the mark of a prospering nation.
It is truly the mark of Pinoy ingenuity that in the midst of problems like these, we’re like a certain chain of banks: we find ways to just deal with these issues. And since we’re never above reusing a great idea a bunch of times, how about we solved all our key problems right now by making paper versions of:
Listen. We’ve had a shortage of license plates since PNoy’s time. You would think this problem would’ve been solved a president and a third later, but nope. So maybe it’s time we took our cue from the driver’s license and printed out our license plates on paper as well.
Worried it won’t last too long? Don’t worry – it’s summertime. No rain to ruin the paper plates for at least a couple of months!
We have so many problems at our airports, but the most obvious thing we can paper over are the planes. Everybody loves paper planes, and surely, a new fleet of them could finally pull us up from being recognized as the worst airport in the world. Right? Right?
Those new P1000 bills look great, don’t they? But you can’t fold them. You know what you can fold easy-peasy, though? That’s right: paper. Counterfeiting, you say? Nahhhhh. Surely that won’t be a problem. We’re too smart for that.
Some people want ROTC. Mostly, these people are not the ones who will have to go through ROTC. But they want it. Well, if we made people do papers for ROTC instead of marching in the sun for no discernible reason, I think we can accomplish pretty much the same thing we would if we brought the real ROTC back in the first place. Just a thought.
With the impending water shortage, we need to make a paper version of water. It’s worked for the licenses so far, so why stop there? Let’s just keep going.
Vloggers have been doing some really dumb stuff lately, particularly when it comes to pranks that get them into trouble. If we replaced these vloggers with paper, they’d be far less of a danger to themselves, that’s for sure.
And yes, as if our woes aren’t through yet, we also have an issue with energy, and people have been proposing nuclear power as the solution. Well, we all know how scary a meltdown could get if we used actual nuclear power plants, so why don’t we make our nuclear plants out of paper instead? We get to solve the power crisis, and we don’t need to worry about a Pinoy remake of Chernobyl anytime soon. Brilliant!
Let’s be honest: if we did replace him with a paper cutout, could you even tell the difference?
We didn’t think so, either.
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