A Paranoid Girl’s Guide
to New Relationships
Congratulations! You’ve successfully moved on to a new stage in your life that bitter hopefuls can only imagine: a relationship. But why is it that, instead of rejoicing your concluded singlehood, you’re pacing the room in fretful anxiety?
New relationship jitters are a normal occurrence. Suddenly, you’re expected to give importance to a life apart from yours, and act together as a couple. All this while managing the bumps on the road, the clash of opinions, and time for dates and intimacy puts a lot of pressure on someone still testing the waters.
But don’t jump ship just yet! Your worries can easily be solved as long as you pay heed to our advice.
8. Control your expectations.
First and foremost, get rid of that ideal guy you’re fantasizing about. In most cases, reality will hit you hard in the face if you keep comparing your current to your image of a “perfect” boyfriend. Don’t pressure him into being something he can’t be, and into doing something he can’t do just to please you. You’ll just be setting yourself up for disappointment.
7. You can’t read minds. Neither can he.
So don’t run to your friends asking for advice or ranting about what you just assumed to be true. If something is bothering you, let him know first. Open communication is the key to a successful relationship. You’ll find that your problems can be easily managed when you talk things through together.
6. Fights are normal.
Don’t expect your relationship to be a smooth joyride. A healthy dose of arguments will help you both grow as a couple and as individuals as you learn from your mistakes and increase empathy for one another.
But not all problems are worth fighting over. You have to choose your battles wisely. If you constantly make a big deal about him leaving the toilet seat up, then you have to re-evaluate yourself.
5. Give yourselves room to breathe.
No one likes an overly-clingy lover. While the personal bubble ceases to exist between you two, you still have to set boundaries. You can’t always demand that he see you every day, and he shouldn’t expect the same from you. Neither of you control each other or each other’s time. So let him play with his PlayStation4 for hours on end while you go out to shop with your barkada. There’s no worse feeling than feeling “trapped” in a relationship.