Anyone remember “Seiko Wallet” or “B-E-A-M means ‘smile?'” Instant earworm, right? Well, nowadays, there are a whole bunch of jingles every bit as memorable and annoying. I’m sure you know these jingles, as most of them are still airing on tv or radio. Allow me to annoy you to death by reminding you of these 8 ridiculously catchy but grating jingles…
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Hey, it’s that commercial that has this amazing singer who could pass for a South Border vocalist, singing about… pleasing your wife? Uhhh, okay.
Annoying Because: It’s just such a well-sung song with an even more overtly sexual undertone than most actual R and B songs!
How To Make It Worse: Choreo. Imagine choreo for this song involving a lot of sensual grindy moves. From Hayden Kho and Katrina Halili.
The expression that thankfully died a merciful death just as it was getting really annoying, is forever immortalized in this jingle! Immortalize-immortalize din ng expression, ‘pag may time.
Annoying Because: “Bonding-bonding with the family, ‘pag may time. Try-try ng bagong recipe, ‘pag may time. Business-business ‘pag may time…” AUUUUUUUGGHHHHHH!!!!!
How To Make It Worse: The next Pride commercial will probably capitalize on the #BoomPanes phenomenon – five months after it’s gone stale.
The first version of this jingle is still easily the most annoying.
Annoying Because: Clearly, they were drunk off of Companero Light when they recorded this terrible jingle.
How To Make It Worse: Hearing this song sung live during an actual drinking session. An icepick never seemed more necessary.
So catchy, it’s annoying! Gloc 9 has consistently been a V Fresh endorser since his days of obscurity all the way to his current superstardom, and it really baffles me sometimes.
Annoying Because: The lyrics are unbelievably cheesier than “I Am But a Small Voice.” And how the heck does chewing gum give peace, education, and prosperity?!?
How To Make It Worse: Try getting one of these jeje rappers to do Gloc 9’s part.
There really isn’t anything I could say about this jingle that doesn’t involve wondering about the sanity of the composers.
Annoying Because: “Maga-aaaaaaaaan ang feeling…” I just… ugh. Gahhh. [EDITOR’S NOTE: Are you always this articulate, or is it just the palpable despair the song engenders?]
A minute and a half later, I still have no idea what the hell Neurobion is. And is it just me or is it the same guy from #8 singing in this jingle again?
Annoying Because: It’s the epic second voice that really slays me. “Wala na ang manhid, tusok at ngawit sa Neurobion!” (Yun yon!) “Neurobion!” (Yun yon!)
How To Make It Worse: They could get the guys who sang the Companero Light jingle to do the singing instead. Or Anne Curtis. Yeah, that works.
It’s especially much less enticing as a commercial when you hear it on the radio because you don’t even have the benefit of seeing Heart dance.
Annoying Because: You know it’s a ripoff of Ylvis’s “The Fox,” but the “wan-dan, wan-dan-dan” part just makes my jaw drop at the mind-blowingly bad lows commercial jingles can achieve with a woman who has a non-zero chance of being our future First Lady.
How To Make It Worse: Have Chiz Escudero be in the commercial. It’s for a cheeseburger, right? He knows what to do.
This is the oldest commercial here and the second ACS Manufacturing Corporation product (the other one was #7), but it’s easily the most annoying one, and it still gets radio airplay. Here’s the most recent version, if you don’t believe me.
Annoying Because: Do I even need to explain this? Well, ACS’s ad agency has a lot of explaining to do.
How To Make It Worse: Make it part of every single commercial lineup in cinemas in between movies. Now, you can have your fix of Randy Santiago, #ManyakTatay, and Star Wax, Star Wax, kintab ay… to da max!