The first 2 to 3 years of a marriage can set the tone for the entire relationship moving forward. Young couples must realize that the first few years of their marriage are crucial to building a foundation for their family in the future. We got 8 ideas to help our wedded-lovebirds come out of the gate strong in their marriage.
Get your own place
I cannot stress this enough or repeat it too often…get your own place. Don’t fall into the trap of staying at your parents’ house “for a while” or “sandali lang till we are ready”. Do it RIGHT AWAY. Establishing your roles as husband and wife is paramount early on in the marriage while living with your folks is next to impossible.
Quick tip: Get your own place BEFORE the actual wedding. A simple apartment or rented house will do, then start moving your things there. This way, after the wedding and the honeymoon, you’ll be the king and queen of your own kingdom in no time.
Get over the honeymoon hump
The romance of the wedding, the passion of the honeymoon, it’s nice to think that these feelings stay forever. But heads up, they don’t. These fast and exciting times are memorable parts of the marriage, but their time comes to an end. After the emotional rush, things will plateau and things will go at their normal, everyday pace. This is where the real work comes in, and where real love can make it last.
Establish and maintain boundaries
Note to the newlyweds: you DON’T have to spend every second of every waking moment together. Your marriage is not a fantasy of you holding hands and being tied at the hip all the time. Yes, you are in a wedded union, but you are still two distinct individuals with different tastes and different attitudes. It’s absolutely ok for husbands and wives to do their own thing every now and then. Actually, some of the best couples I know have hobbies, interests, and groups of friends that DON’T include their spouse.
Roll up the toothpaste
Of course this isn’t just about the toothpaste tube. Our next advice is about being mindful that there are now TWO of you living in the same space. If you got used to leaving your things on the floor, waking without fixing your bed, or not cleaning up after yourself, you got to check yourself in the mirror and do some instant changes. It is always a good idea to decide on what living habits the both of you can learn and agree on together.
Agree on finances
Another issue that newlyweds tackle is about handling their finances. Does the wife keep the money and hold the power of all the ATMs? Do you split all the bills down the middle equally? Who pays for the Netflix subscription? There are many ways to do it, and not one thing is always better than the other. The best setup is for you to agree on what works, and be open to other ideas that might make the arrangement better along the way.
Never forget the little things
Living together as a married couple can sometimes be monotonous and uneventful. But you don’t need grand gestures or expensive getaways to keep the spark alive. Sometimes doing the little things can really rekindle the flame. Like giving her a surprise set of flowers after a tiring workday, or cooking him fries with a side of his favorite ketchup. Acts of love don’t have to be extravagant, they just have to be real.
Sometimes, you really have to let the sun set on an argument
You probably know the saying that you shouldn’t let the sun go down without settling an argument. But I would have to disagree. During a quarrel, tempers are flaring and pride is at an all-time high. It is almost impossible to settle down to find a point of compromise. So like many other big decisions in life, try to sleep on it. It’s hard to look the other way and sleep on your side at the edge of the bed (or the sofa if it’s that bad). But come morning, you’d be surprised at how both of you have calmed down and are now more ready to talk.
Don’t forget, you’re the lucky one
Comparing who got the better deal in a marriage is not helpful and is a complete waste of time. Both partners, in their heart, should know that they are the lucky one who got a person they don’t deserve, but is with them anyway. If the two of you think that way, there will always be an active and genuine motivation to be the best husband or the best wife for your spouse in the many more years to come.
What other tips can you share with us? Tell us below!