Filipinos are known for plenty of beautiful things when it comes to character — we’re hospitable, we’re resilient, and we help each other out in times of trouble. But what about beyond that? What about when it comes to matters behind closed doors and families? It might be a hard pill to swallow, but we have a toxic Filipino family culture that needs to be discussed. Do any of these things on this list sound familiar?
Refusing to talk about problems
Parents expecting their kids to “give back”
Forcing respect for an elder member of the family
Tolerating toxic members of the family
Crab mentality within families
Making demeaning comments
“Ang tanda tanda mo na, wala ka parin asawa?”
“Asan na mga apo ko?”
These kinds of comments breed insecurity and internalized hate. At a young age, kids will start thinking there’s something wrong with them if they’re called “fat.” Younger folks’ worries only worsen when questioned about why they remain single. These off-handed comments are common in toxic Filipino family culture and are brushed off as jokes or even a form of greeting at every reunion. But these obviously foster a toxic culture that needs to be addressed.
Maintaining an image
Found things in this article you relate to one way or another? That’s okay. While these behaviors are toxic, there is a way out even when it seems it’s ingrained in your family. You can change. People can actively choose to be better and put an end to the cycle of toxicity and you can do it starting today.
What other toxic Filipino family culture do you think should stop? Share it with us in the comments!