Week in Weird: Your New Snake Officemate Wants to Normalize Hissing as an Email Sign-Off

Your New Snake Officemate

My husband is getting notifications from his place of employment that, in the 6 months since anyone has gone into the office, RATTLESNAKES have taken up residence. And they’re happily multiplying.

— Seyward Darby (@seywarddarby) September 25, 2020

Most offices all over the world have shifted to the work-from-home arrangement — which means office spaces have been left unattended for days, weeks, and in some cases, months. One such office in New York hasn’t seen a single living person in six months, but it has certainly seen other organisms: rattlesnakes. The employees were notified of this development and were advised not to visit their office space. What are the snakes even doing there? Our guess: plotting world domination via capitalism.

pic.twitter.com/yxidGPJdy4

— Jonathan “October Surprise” Hansen (@HANSEN_SOGROOVY) September 25, 2020

Everyone wants new email sign-offs

Dubidubidapdap,

James

— Jmz Art (@JaMoKKzZ) September 27, 2020

Elsewhere in the Internet, people are asking the world to normalize unusual email sign-offs. The first that went viral was Twitter user JERDEEEE telling people to use lyrics.

And we get it. “Regards” and “Best” are so overused that they mean absolutely nothing anymore. Meanwhile, “Dubidubidapdap” or “Boom tarat tarat”? Such impact. Such power. 5/5, would recommend.

A few others are telling people to make iconic film lines, brand taglines, or even things your mom scolds you for. Maybe even the snakes from that New York office would ask for their own email sign-offs. Hissing noise, anyone?

Peppa Pig strikes again

my kid just unwrapped her new peppa dinner set and I accidentally ordered a french version and now it says groin groin groin all over the plates and cup ffs pic.twitter.com/3IfXzVfjTL

— Maggy (@maggyvaneijk) September 30, 2020

We already told you why Peppa Pig is a menace to society, and here’s more proof. Mom Maggy wanted to get her daughter a new plate, but when she unwrapped the dinner set she ordered online, she got a rude and rather embarrassing awakening. Peppa looks cute with those cupcakes beside her, but all around the dish plate is the word “groin.” Maggy realized she ordered the French version of the dinner set, so she also got “groin” which means a pig’s snout in French. Even accidentally, Peppa is a little bit of a bad influence for your kids. But if your kids love her, what is there to do?

Is this baby food or overnight oats?

We’ve entered this stage of dystopia pic.twitter.com/2O6ZcWOTAu

— raina (@quakerraina) September 28, 2020

We’ve seen a lot of food trends this quarantine period, and people either getting more creative or just lazier. We’re not entirely sure which one this is. Food company Mush specializes in overnight oats that are quick and easy to eat. So it’s not actually a new food trend — overnight oats have been around for years. But the way it’s presented is what caught people’s attention; it’s just straight-up mush. Which, yeah, explains the name.

Calling all LDR couples!

If you miss giving your S.O. physical affection, then this week’s weird product find is what you probably need. Kissenger is the world’s first mobile kiss messenger. Yes, you can send a kiss through your mobile phone. The device can sense your kiss and send the same sensations to your S.O. over the internet. Unfortunately, the product hasn’t gone beyond the prototype stage yet, but now that we’re all practicing social distancing, maybe enough people would want it for mass production.

Here’s a new pastime

The Manila Bay white beach (except it’s not so white anymore) is the gift that keeps on giving (except the gift is just frustrated laughter). Earlier this week, Facebook user Cloud went live to “[stare] at white sand until my mental health is okay” for 5 hours, 5 minutes and 54 seconds. It has since garnered several hundred thousands views, because one, it’s hilarious, and two, it sums up how most of us have been feeling this quarantine (i.e. we need a break but we also can’t escape the depressing news so we just end up staring at it). Also, yes, the video is probably a loop.

Super Medic to the rescue

In another part of the world, engineers from Gravity Industries in the UK have successfully completed the first test flight to allow emergency responders to use a jetpack to immediately answer an emergency call. Granted, the test was conducted in the mountains where there are less tall obstructions like buildings and other infrastructures in a town or city. What used to be a 25-minute drive for an ambulance was reduced to 90 seconds with the jetpack. But also that’s just the travel time. Is it really that fast when you consider how much time a paramedic needs to spend on grabbing their tools, putting on the jetpack suit, going out to an open field, and trying to safely navigate through open air? Hmm.

Subway bread is not bread

That’s according to the Ireland Supreme Court. According to the New York Post, an official court ruling stated that the starch used in the loaves is too sugary and thus does not meet Ireland’s legal definition of bread. This means that Subway bread cannot be legally considered a staple food in Ireland.

You might be wondering why this issue had to be escalated to the country’s Supreme Court. Well, for tax purposes, of course. People in the European Union usually pay a value-added tax included in the price of goods and services, but it doesn’t apply to staple food. Due to the newly released ruling, Subway would now need to pay taxes for their bread.

What other weird things have you seen online?