Here’s an interesting bit of trivia: there are 31,102 verses in the entirety of the Bible. Of those verses, 7,957 belong to the New Testament. Of those 7.957, zero directly quote Jesus to be saying a single bad thing about homosexuality.
So we won’t really discuss the specifics of the thing that inspired this list, because if you know, then you know, and if you don’t know, then we’re happy to not have to ruin your day or worse, make your day if you’re the type who revels in sanctimony.
Let’s just put it this way: if the only verse that means anything to you in the Bible is Leviticus 20:13 and you make sure to ram that down the throats of other people who just want to use your business wifi, then you have wayyyy more problems than the men “who lie with other men.” If anything, you might be even more fixated about it than they are, and that’s not healthy.
If you really wanted to be a “good” Christian, maybe you’d do a better job convincing other people about that if you went with these verses for your Wifi password instead….[/whole] [/row]
“Cast your burden upon the Lord, and he will sustain you.”
This first verse reminds us that we came to a milk tea place to sit back, relax, and enjoy our milk tea: not to be told we’re going to hell for who we’re dating. It’s a nice reminder that even in the most mundane of things, we could jettison our cares, even if temporarily, in a profound way.
And yes, that’s the opening line for the chorus of “Lift Up Your Hands,” paraphrased. Always a beautiful song to have as your LSS.
“Then he said to them, ‘The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.’”
What most people forget is that Jesus Christ is a revolutionary and a radical in the most basic sense. In this verse, he pointed out that David himself broke the law on the Sabbath, while he and his disciples also broke the law on the Sabbath. So maybe before we insist on iron-clad things in the Bible, we also remind ourselves how many times these so-called iron-clad things were flouted by Jesus himself in the first place.
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”
No, we will not make any rod jokes here. But yes, we will point out that Coolio used this imagery in “Gangsta’s Paradise,” reflecting the uncertainty and fear that surrounds all of us all the time. Sometimes, we want to find something, or someone to hold on to even at our darkest. He’s there for us. No, not Coolio: God. And through Him, the people in our lives that matter, too. Friends. Family. All the people who make life worth living.
“And behold, joy and gladness, killing oxen and slaughtering sheep, eating flesh and drinking wine, ‘Let us eat, drink, and be merry. For tomorrow, we die.’”
This could be either a grim reminder for people who are morbid, or a reminder of… YOLO!!!
Your choice which one it means to you, but we’d like to run with the latter.
“Joseph was 30 years old when he began serving in the court of Pharaoh.”
In case you wanted to tell everyone how much you like tennis and the Bible at the same time, this quote is for you!
“For I did not speak of my own accord, but the Father who has commanded me what to say and how to say it.”
For the times you wanted to let everyone know that Jesus drove a Honda, but didn’t talk about it.
Almost as groan-inducing as Peter’s telephone, because of his denial.
1 Corinthians 13 4:7
“4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
Probably the lengthiest passage we have in this entire list, but also one of the most beautiful. No explanations needed.
“A new command I give you: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”
Ultimately, it boils down to love. If the only thing you take from the Bible is the condemnation, the hellfire, and the brimstone, then you’re missing the point: that’s not your job. Even if we assume God to be every bit as vengeful as you believe him to be, all that vengeance is His responsibility, not yours. Your responsibility couldn’t be plainer than day: to love one another. And believe us: that is a much easier task than you think it is.
Can you name other apt passages? Share them with us below!