If you were anywhere near Twitter in the last coupl of days, you’d know that the top trending topics were once again occupied by the messy ABS-CBN hearing to determine its franchise renewal. Surprisingly, “PanatangMakabayan“ was one of the top trends.
House Deputy Speaker Rodante Marcoleta asked ABS-CBN’s Gabby Lopez to recite the Panatang Makabayan to prove his allegiance to the Philippines. This was while the latter is being grilled for being a dual citizen of the Philippines and the United States. The request was so spitefully made that it was as if reciting the first line of the patriotic oath would suddenly clear the hearing and solve everything.
What have you done to show your allegiance as a Filipino asks Marcoleta. Gabby Lopez answers about serving 3M people in missionary areas. Hindi po negosyo ito, he says. Then Marcoleta says recite the first line of Panatang Makabayan. Whhhhuttt!Ganon lang pala ang gusto niya?OMG.
— Ces Oreña-Drilon (@cesdrilon) June 8, 2020
If the standard is as low as reciting the Panatang Makabayan, then below are 8 other things they should maybe ask the next time. After all, if you don’t know what the tune of a Selecta ice cream cart during the afternoon sounds like, are you even Filipino?
Yoyoy Villame’s Greatest Hits
This should be easy enough for everyone who grew up in this beautiful country. Elementary kids know this by heart and if someone somehow grew up not knowing then you might want to assume the worst: they’re not Pinoy. Gasp.
3+3, Christmas Tree
4+4, Bagong Bapor
5+5, Voltes 5
Why don’t you continue the rest up to 10 if you’re truly a Filipino? Or better yet, why not sing the entire Magellan Song by Yoyoy Villame? “On March 16, 1521…”
Langit, Lupa, Impyerno and Pop Cola!
Only Pinoys know the excitement of rushing home after school to play with the neighbors and sing songs. If someone can’t sing these songs in full, you better double-check their citizenship.
Langit, lupa, impyerno
Saksak puso, tulo ang dugo
Umalis ka na sa pwesto mo
Now that last line has different renditions depending on which barangay you’re located. But here’s another one:
Pop cola masarap inumin
My name is Sharon Cuneta, Robin Padilla
Erap laki mata, Gloria laki nunal
Sinong ‘di marunong mag-basa?
Bitoy’s song parodies
Everyone knows at least the choruses to Bitoy’s best song parodies. In 2010, he introduced us to Bathroom Dance a parody of Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance, and even before that, in 2005, Bitoy sang Mamaw, his parody to Kamikazee’s Narda. If you know these songs by heart better than the original, you’re a certified Filipino. But if someone is finding it hard to belt their heart out to Mamaw, you better watch them closely.
Iconic movie quotes
Below are some of the lines you can quiz your friends with and if they remain clueless, then that means they haven’t loved this country enough.
One More Chance (2007)
Popoy: She had me at my worst. You had me at my best at binaliwala mo lang lahat yun.
Basha: Popoy, ‘yun ba talaga ang tingin mo? I just made a choice.
Popoy: And you chose to break my heart
Four Sisters and a Wedding (2013)
Bobbie: Pero bakit parang galit ka? Bakit parang kasalanan ko?
Bobbie to Alex: Don’t give comments about my personal life because I don’t give comments about yours.
Teddie: Ma, I’m sorry, Ma.
Bituing Walang Ningning (1985)
Lavinia: You’re nothing, but a second-rate trying hard copycat!
Janina San Miguel’s historic Binibining Pilipinas answer
What’s that? You’ve memorized Catriona Gray’s answer that won her the Miss Universe 2018 crown? So have the entire world! The real test of a true Filipino is if they have memorized Binibining Pilipinas 2008 Janina San Miguel’s entire answer during the Q&A portion.
“Well, my family’s role for me is so important because there was the— they’re, they was the one who’s very [laughs] Oh I’m so sorry. My pamily… My family… Oh my god… I’m— Ok, I’m so sorry. I— I told you that I’m so confident… Eto, uhm, wait… [laughs] Uhm, sorry guys because this was really my first pageant ever because I’m only 17 years old and [laughs] I– I did not expect that I came from— I came from one of the tough 10. Hmmm, so… but I said that my family is the most important persons in my life. Thank you.”
Now that’s something we can’t forget even if we get amnesia. San Miguel was crowned Bb. Pilipinas World title for that answer.
Rexona’s First Day High commercial
Back in high school, remember trying to group your classmates through this cool commercial? Everything was for fun, of course, just like modern-day astrology. But now that we’re all full-grown Filipino individuals, if one can’t say which group they belonged to in a split second, then something is wrong. As for me, imma do the rebel high because I’m cool and astig.
Nasasabik sa unang araw ng eskwela,
Taas kamay with confidence,
Let’s do the first day high!
Umaapaw sa talino,
Do the brainy high,
Kung mayaman si papa,
Do the sossy high,
Pagmahilig ka sa sports,
Do the MVP high,
Kung cool ka at astig,
Do the rebel high,
Pag solid sa bait,
Do the nice guy high
Itaas ang kamay
Let’s do the first day high
The Super Twins transformation
— Unfollow this (@jaycarlocipres) June 25, 2016
Honestly, we have no idea why we still have this memorized but that goes to show that everyone who grew up in a Filipino household has seen at least one Super Twins episode. Nadine Samonte and Jennylyn Mercado were great!
Kapangyarihan ng araw
Taglay ay liwanag
Kambal na lakas
Kami ang Super Twins!
And while we’re at it, let’s include Card Captor Sakura’s Tagalized Key of the Seal chant:
“Oh susi natatago ng kapangyarihan ng Kadiliman! Ipakita mo ang totoong anyo sa akin! Sundin niyo ang utos ko bilang bagong tagapagmahala! RELEASE!”
Or even Team Rocket’s motto!
Coca Cola’s Beat Song
And lastly, as the ultimate test to Filipino citizenship, corner the person you’re suspecting and make them do the Coca Cola Beat Song. Ito ang beat sabay sabay! Nobody has the right to call themselves Filipinos if they can’t do this routine. Nobody.
What other tests to Filipino citizenship can you think of?