8List.ph
  • News
    • Showbiz
    • Opinion
    • Sports
    • Profiles
    • Weird
  • Adulting
    • Career
    • Money
    • Health
    • School & Learning
    • Relationships
  • Pop
    • Movies & TV
    • Music
    • Books
    • Games
    • Theater
    • Retro
    • K-World
  • Lifestyle
    • Style
    • Beauty
    • Food & Drink
    • Nest
    • Tech
    • Travel
    • Pinoy
  • Videos
    • 8List Asks
    • Pagsubeks
    • Kaya Today!
    • Archives
      • 8list Plays
      • 8List Explores
      • 8List Presents
      • 88 Seconds
      • 8secs
      • Filgood
      • Isabuhay Ang Panata
      • #8MinutesWith
      • YOUth DECIDE
      • Str8 Up with Delamar
      • Toughest Job 2016
  • H8 Mondays
  • Breathe
  • About
  • Sitemap
  • Advertise
  • Privacy
  • Archive
  • Bitesized.ph
  • Windowseat.ph

 

 

 

8List.ph is published by ID8, Inc.

Subscribe
8List.ph
8List.ph
  • News
    • Showbiz
    • Opinion
    • Sports
    • Profiles
    • Weird
  • Adulting
    • Career
    • Money
    • Health
    • School & Learning
    • Relationships
  • Pop
    • Movies & TV
    • Music
    • Books
    • Games
    • Theater
    • Retro
    • K-World
  • Lifestyle
    • Style
    • Beauty
    • Food & Drink
    • Nest
    • Tech
    • Travel
    • Pinoy
  • Videos
    • 8List Asks
    • Pagsubeks
    • Kaya Today!
    • Archives
      • 8list Plays
      • 8List Explores
      • 8List Presents
      • 88 Seconds
      • 8secs
      • Filgood
      • Isabuhay Ang Panata
      • #8MinutesWith
      • YOUth DECIDE
      • Str8 Up with Delamar
      • Toughest Job 2016
  • H8 Mondays
  • Breathe
  • Pop

8 Ways the Philippines Can Protect Our Territories from China (Without Going to War)

  • Posted on Jul 13, 2016
  • 0 minute read
  • Tim Henares
Total
1
Shares
1
0
0

Protect-Our-Territories-from-China
8 Ways the Philippines
Can Protect Our Territories
from China
(Without Going to War)
By Tim Henares

Moments from Volleyfriends UAAP Volleyball Kick Off SHAD

Nobody in their right mind would want to go to war with China. With over a billion Chinese citizens, all they need to do is spit on us all at the same time and we’d have to deal with another catastrophic flood.

In light of yesterday’s Hague ruling, though, we need to affirm our rights to the territories that China has encroached upon for so long. For that, we need a nuanced kind of diplomacy: we need to speak softly, but carry a big stick—just to make it clear that we do mean business. And no matter how much of a superpower China is, we have the international community backing us up, so they need to get with the program.

Here are a few ways we could gently discourage China from staying in our Philippine territories.

8. Set up Philippine offices for websites blocked by the Great Firewall of China.

8 Protect Our Territories from China

Via interaksyon.com

Facebook Philippines, Google Philippines, Twitter Philippines, come on down! Seeing as these sites are all blocked in China anyways, give them very little motivation to be in the area.


7. Move Binondo to the disputed islands.

7-Protect-Our-Territories-from-China
This is what we call “camouflage.” Just make sure that the new occupants also know Mandarin, or else the rapid-fire Hokkien might give away the ruse.

6. Offer a rematch—in Ms. Universe.

6-Protect-Our-Territories-from-China

Via missuniverse.com

Whoever places higher in the next Ms. Universe gains control of the islands once and for all. Ms. Philippines, we’re counting on you!

5. Strike a deal with Kris Aquino.

5-Protect-Our-Territories-from-China

Via iweb.ph

Kris Aquino will now star in Magic To Win 7. For world peace!

4. Yet another rematch—via sing-off.

4-Protect-Our-Territories-from-China

Via disney.wikia.com

To give China a bit of an advantage, the song of choice will be Make a Man Out of You from Mulan. Let’s get down to business!

3. Send Mystica

3-Protect-Our-Territories-from-China

Via hatawtabloid.com

No further explanation needed.

2. Get the President to ride a jetski and plant a Philippine flag on the territories.

DUTERTE-JET-SKI-C
Haven’t we already heard this plan before?

1. Make a concert stadium to house daily HashT5 performances.

1-Protect-Our-Territories-from-China

Via thedailypedia.com

Were we looking for scarecrows? Here you go.

 

How do you think we can protect the #WestPHSea? Sound off in the comments below!


Total
1
Shares
1
0
0
Avatar photo
Tim Henares

Previous Article
  • Adulting

Wham, Bam, Thank You, Ma’am: 8 Rules of Etiquette for One-Night Stands

  • Posted on Jul 13, 2016Jul 13, 2016
  • Tim Henares
View Post
Next Article
  • News

Yay Wednesday!: The World is Good Again Edition

  • Posted on Jul 13, 2016Jul 13, 2016
  • Abu Poblete
View Post
You May Also Like
View Post
  • Pop

This Filipino Swiftie Might Be Taylor Swift’s Most Successful Fan Yet

  • Posted on May 17, 2023May 17, 2023
  • Meryl Medel
View Post
  • Pop

LOOK: Barbie Just Introduced Their First Doll with Down Syndrome

  • Posted on Apr 27, 2023
  • Edgardo Toledo
View Post
  • Pop

8 Must-See Versions of *That* Trending Philippines Travel Level Map Generator

  • Posted on Apr 18, 2023
  • Meryl Medel
View Post
  • Pop

Ariana Grande’s Latest TikTok Video Is a Challenge to Stop Judging Bodies

  • Posted on Apr 12, 2023Apr 12, 2023
  • Edgardo Toledo
View Post
  • Pop

Funniest Tweets from Fans Who Refuse to Believe Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn Split Up

  • Posted on Apr 11, 2023
  • Kyzia Maramara
View Post
  • Pop

This Jollibee-Inspired Makeup Collection Is Everything We Want and More

  • Posted on Apr 5, 2023Apr 4, 2023
  • Edgardo Toledo
View Post
  • Pop

8 International Celebrities Who Have Proudly Repped the Philippines Globally

  • Posted on Apr 4, 2023
  • Meryl Medel
View Post
  • Pop

How to Break Barriers Online and Beyond, According to the Inspiring Women of YouTube

  • Posted on Mar 31, 2023Apr 14, 2023
  • Meryl Medel

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get the l8est delivered right to your inbox.

8List.ph
  • About
  • Sitemap
  • Advertise
  • Privacy
  • Archive
  • Bitesized.ph
  • Windowseat.ph
Your daily dose of entertaining, useful and informative lists.

Input your search keywords and press Enter.