A toxic person might not be easily recognizable at first, especially if you’re in a long-term relationship, but if you feel there’s something wrong, it’s never a crime to trust your gut. If you’re confused, read these tell-tale signs of a toxic relationship.
You get stripped of your self-esteem
Relationships are supposed to supply you with happiness and confidence and your partner should be the one in the frontlines cheering you on as the first person to always have your back. If they don’t bring out the best in you and they can’t support you, or worse, they are responsible for making you doubt yourself, it’s time to cut some strings. Your happiness should come first!
There’s constant anger and negative energy when you’re around each other
Anger leads to frequent fights that will create cracks in your relationship if left unresolved. Now fights can be a good thing but if you find yourself at each other’s throats about the most mundane of things (like somebody left the shower floor wet) and the atmosphere becomes hostile, it probably means there’s pent-up anger somewhere. It’s also a clear sign that the relationship has made a turn for the worse and if you can’t talk it over, maybe it’s time to call it quits.
There’s a lack of trust
A healthy relationship is one where both parties are confident in each other. Trust serves as a protection seal in a relationship; if it’s intact there’s nothing to worry about, but if that seal is broken even once, it’s pretty hard to bounce back. Lack of trust stems from different things, it could be enduring broken promise after broken promise, or worse, being lied to and cheated on. You don’t deserve someone who’s hot and cold and who doesn’t value you at all!
You find yourself always being unhappy in their presence
It could be that you’re always under a microscope being criticized either by your physical appearance or the things you do and you start avoiding spending time with your partner. It could be that you find your needs unmet (love, affection, appreciation, attention, intimacy) and you can’t complain because nothing is going to change anyway. Or maybe your just really feel drained by their presence. Listen to what your mind (and body) are telling you because if you listen to your heart, you might end up staying for a long time.
You both hold grudges and keep score cards
All relationships start rosy until the “honeymoon phase” is over and all the ugly characteristics come out. That’s when you get to test the real weight of your love for each other. Over the years you’re likely to make sacrifices for your relationship but it will never be fair to hold it over each other. Constant bringing up of mistakes in the past will only lead to hurting a person and some damages are hard to heal. Focusing and taking advantage of a person’s weakness is a sure sign of a toxic relationship.
There’s almost physical and verbal abuse
There will never be any excuse that justifies physically and verbally abusing anyone. The sad reality is, people in these kinds of relationships stay because they are hoping for their partners to change. You know the truth. Know when it’s time to leave.
Your partner is controlling
Healthy relationships give space and privacy for each other; they understand that they don’t have to be all up in each other’s business every second of the day. Toxic relationships almost always feature a controlling partner who wants to be the one in charge of the relationship. They want to know where you are, who you’re with, or who you’ve been messaging. This could be a sign of excessive jealousy but if your partner isn’t giving you the privacy and free reign every adult is entitled to have, this definitely indicates a toxic relationship.
It’s all give and no take
It’s not a healthy relationship if you’re the only one putting all the effort and sacrificing, you’ll easily run out of love to give. You’re bound to burn out or worse, you might think that everything going wrong is your fault. In the name of self-care and for your friends’ peace of mind, cut off the toxic people in your life!
If you find yourself ticking all the items on this list, you might want to evaluate your relationship. Sit down with your significant other and discuss your problems face to face. If a talk won’t resolve anything, you know that it’s time to go. Take that first step out the door no matter how scary it might seem, because how else can you find the right person for you?
Do you know other warning signs of a toxic relationship? Share them with us below!