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8 Most Epic Mustaches from Philippine Cinema History

  • Posted on Sep 15, 2015Apr 6, 2021
  • 3 minute read
  • Tim Henares
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8 Epic Mustaches from Philippine Cinema History


Yes, yes. We’ve heard it already: Heneral Luna is probably the best Filipino film we’ve had in a long time that didn’t involve John Lloyd or Joel Torre. In fact, you should totally watch it if you haven’t yet, and you should also wait for a supposed post-credits scene, and then petition the government to replace the guy on the 5-peso coin while you’re at it.

That being said, the first thing you will notice about John Arcilla’s take on Heneral Luna isn’t his heroism, but his historically accurate, epic mustache. We’ve scoured the annals of Philippine Cinema for comparably kickass examples of the crumb catcher, and here are the 8 we’ve come up with…

 

8. Tito Sotto

Via senate.gov.ph

A Tito Sotto without a mustache is not Tito Sotto at all. While his brother, Val, probably has a more robust lady tickler, there’s no denying that Tito Sen’s trademark look is just more distinct than Val’s, to say the least.

 


7. Christopher De Leon

Via asianjournal.com

Christopher De Leon just really looks dashing, doesn’t he? Well, when he starts twirling that facial caterpillar (figuratively) as he’s wont to do when he plays a villain at times, you’d probably be dashing, too—dashing the other way.

6. Joel Torre

Via lilokpelikula.wordpress.com

No matter how well Cesar Montano played “Jose Rizal,” that epic Jose Rizal look is practically patented by Joel Torre,more than anyone else. A clean-shaven Joel Torre loses about 30% of his gravitas, in contrast. It is a known fact that the source of Joel Torre’s powers is his upper lipholstery.

 

5. Rudy Fernandez

Via mavshack.com

Probably the most prominent soup strainer among the action stars of the Filipino film industry, it’s easy to assume that the late Rudy Fernandez has everyone not named Fernando Poe, Jr. beat in the oozing with manliness category. Even the pencil-thin fuzz Erap wore during his heyday pales in comparison to Da Boy’s luxurious pushbroom that set the standard.

 

4. Chinggoy Alonso

Via snipview.com

Ah, and now, the plot thickens – and so does the lip rug. Acclaimed theater, TV, and film actor Chinggoy Alonso is just so darned respectable whenever he’s onscreen and looking like this. When he shaves off that beautiful lip-mane, he turns into Mr. F.

Via snipview.com

We’ll let the blackface slide if you just grow it back.

 

3. Jestoni Alarcon

Via tieba.baidu.com

Do you see those chiseled abs, those perfect biceps, and those rock-hard pecs? Of course not, because that’s not where his bro-stache is, which is where the action’s at.

 

2. Max Alvarado

Via snipview.com

It’s hard to imagine someone who can be more menacing thanks to facial hair alone. Unless if your name is…

 

1. Paquito Diaz

Via dacouchtomato.com

No contest. End of discussion. Paquito Diaz, quite simply, has the most epic bristle batons in all of Philippine movie history.

 

Dishonorable Mention: Coco Martin

Via aclcnews.wordpress.com

I don’t know who told you this is a good look on you, Coco, but she lied. Take it off. Take it all off!

 


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Tim Henares

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