The pop songs and movies that we grew up with may have said that friendship is forever, but in the real world, this isn’t always true. Here are the signs that you should move on from your friendship, and why that’s totally okay.
Your friendship is one-sided
While we don’t endorse transactional friendships, all healthy relationships are based on a give-and-take dynamic. So if you’ve noticed that you’ve been giving and giving but not getting much — if anything — back, that’s not a good sign.
Do you come running to their side whenever they call, only to be hung out to dry when you need them? Are all your conversations about them and their problems? And when you give them advice about the aforementioned problems, are they dismissive?
If it’s clear to you that your friend brings nothing to the table, that’s a good indication that you need to rethink your relationship.
Your friend isn’t supportive
First of all, it’s important to note that just because a friend gives you tough love doesn’t mean they’re unsupportive. If you’re doing something stupid or problematic and your friends call you out on that, that’s a good thing. Hold onto these friends who aren’t afraid to have difficult conversations.
But if your friend belittles your achievements or reacts to your good news with jealousy, that clearly means that they view you as a rival. While a little friendly competition doesn’t hurt, it’s important to surround yourself with people who genuinely want to see you thriving.
Your friend is overly negative
Everyone has their share of ups and downs. But if your friend is constantly a downer and it’s taking a toll on your mental health, you might want to take a few steps back. While friends should be there for each other during tough times, you should also make sure that you’re not compromising your own well-being.
Your friend is a flake
Yes, the older we get, the harder it is to maintain friendships. When you’ve got a lot going on in your respective lives, just scheduling a coffee date can take months. But if your friend keeps making excuses to get out of seeing you without coming up with any solutions, perhaps they’re just not interested in staying in touch anymore. And you deserve better than that.
You dread seeing them
Once upon a time, spending time with this friend must have made you happy — otherwise, you wouldn’t have become friends in the first place. But if the mere idea of hanging out with them is enough to give you a sinking feeling in your stomach, trust your gut (pun intended).
You don’t have anything to talk about
When your paths diverge and your lives change, finding common ground can become a chore. If you don’t have the time or energy to invest in this friendship, this doesn’t make you a horrible person. Friends drift apart sometimes. It’s just a fact of life.
(However, this doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t stay friends. You may not want to spend as much time together, but if you’d like, check in with one another every now and then. Who knows — maybe in the future, your paths will align once again.)
Your friend is a bad influence
Is your friend behaving against your moral compass? If so, ask yourself if you really want to be friends with someone like that. Your friendship could reflect poorly on you, and if you’re not careful, you could end up adopting their bad behavior.
None of us is perfect, but we should be careful about who we let into our lives. Stick to your principles. Pick friends who lift you up and help you become a better person.
Your friend doesn’t act like a friend
Then, there are the obvious red flags. If your friend spreads your secrets, steals from you, lies to you, etc., that should be enough reason for you to walk away. Sure, they may change for the better eventually, but don’t hold your breath. Don’t be a pushover.
A Caveat
While it’s important to stand up for yourself and not be afraid to leave toxic friendships behind, don’t give up on friendships too easily. We all go through good and bad times, and some people tend to withdraw when they’re going through something. Sometimes, we just need to adjust our expectations and cut our friends some slack.
But if you’re absolutely sure that you want to walk away from a friendship, don’t feel guilty. As long as you’ve done your part, there’s nothing wrong with moving onto more fulfilling relationships.
Got any more advice? Share them with us below!
