8 Paranoid Thoughts When Meeting the Parents for the First Time
Jul 14, 2015   •   RJ Firmeza
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The day has finally arrived–you’ll finally be introduced to the parents, you’ll finally be legal! But despite all the preparation and reassurances from your significant other, you can’t help but overthink the meet-up. It will be worth it, but it will be a nerve-racking moment that will incite a number of paranoid thoughts before, during, and after, reducing you to a puddle of nerves.
The first thing you’ll overthink is whether they’ll like you or not, and you’ve probably convinced yourself that they won’t, so you try to prepare yourself for the carnage. But really, overthinking won’t help. Just stay calm (hindi pa nga nangyayare! Also, innocent until proven guilty!) and take a couple of deep breaths.
You’ve probably seen in the hundreds of rom-coms you’ve watched that it’s an unspoken rule for the guy or girl to bring a thank-you present for being invited into the family home. Now you’re thinking if you should do the exact same thing. Ha! Well, they won’t take offense if you don’t bring anything, but really, just bring something like a small bouquet of flowers for the mom (mommy points!), or dessert to please everyone.
Should you go fashyown so that you come across as presentable? Should you go casual, so that you appear laidback? Should you wear a suit, so that you seem respectable?? You’ve probably tried all possible combinations the night before the dreaded introductions, and you still haven’t decided on the ultimate outfit. Well, that will ultimately depend on you (were you expecting advice here? Hehe, sorry). But a general rule you can follow is: Guys, for the love of god don’t wear a TapouT shirt or flipflops; girls, nothing too short.
You’ve probably done your research on what to do during the introductions, so yes, definitely give dad a firm, steady handshake. Definitely compliment mom, either going for a beso or mano (you’ll be able to tell what kind of person she is within the first few seconds, I guarantee it). “Po” and “opo” are your best friends, if they’re more comfortable with English then just go with “sir” or “ma’am.” Try to avoid tito or tita yet unless they say so (ultimate feeling close!)
Well, you’re finally at the table… it’s time for the Inquisition! You’re paranoid about this part of the evening more than anything else, so you’ve probably thought out all the possible responses to all the possible questions they may have. You’ve probably even practiced how to say it in a certain tone and in a cool manner in front of the mirror. But no matter how prepared you are, you’re still a jumble of nerves under all the cologne and hairgel.
At some point in the evening you’re sure to encounter the dreaded awkward silence. Don’t let it get the best of you though. Remind yourself that your significant other is worth the discomfort and awkwardness, and try to pretend that you’re simply talking to your own parents. Find your inner zen and work from there.
Although things are going smoothly, you can’t help but wonder if you had unintentionally done something wrong. Had you observed proper table manners, did you slurp your soup too loudly? Did you laugh too loud when the joke wasn’t really that funny? Do they think you have a midget fetish just because you know about a bar that features midget boxing!?! The questions will probably haunt you for the rest of the evening, but you just need to survive until the door closes before you collapse into heap of sobs. You can do it. Home stretch.
1. It’s over!! …But now what do they think of you?
The night will come to a close and you’ll finally breathe easy, but you’ll most likely spend the drive home dissecting every second of the evening with your partner. Despite the reassurances you’ll be nervous until the next time you see them, when they will undoubtedly make it clear how the first evening went and where you stand with them. Until the next time! What paranoid thoughts have you had when meeting your significant other’s parents for the first time? Share the awkward bits and words of wisdom with us in the comments!