Unpopular Opinion: Pinoy Parenting Practices We Need to Change
Aug 28, 2023   •   Kyzia Maramara
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Aug 28, 2023   •   Kyzia Maramara
When we think of Pinoy parenting, we think of a hodgepodge of parenting practices, good or bad, that made us who we are today. On one hand, parents tend to be strict and raise their kids with an authoritative parenting style (that often leads to spanking with slippers, belts, hangers, and brooms) yet on the other they want them to be the best at everything (remember your Kumon days?). While there is no one right way to parent, younger folks are now realizing that there are both old-timey and modern Pinoy parenting practices we need to rid of to raise a better generation. Here are some of them:
Turuan nyo ng Filipino at regional language mga anak nyo wag lang English. Masmabilis matuto ng language habang masbata. Hindi nakakatuwa ang mga batang English lang ang alam eh nasa Pilipinas. https://t.co/0y2rsne65p
— Pat Jasmin (@notpatjasmin) August 14, 2023
teaching & introducing your children to their own culture & language (esp. mother tongue) should be an ESSENTIAL part of parenting, wherein a lot of filipino parents tend to overlook, which is why a lot of filo youth / children grow up culturally inferior and ignorant https://t.co/Y7K68bbq7c
— bb. (@msbxlx) August 15, 2023
We don’t know about you but whenever we talk to toddlers, we’d almost always have to ask their parents if they can understand Tagalog. Our language seems to be easily dismissed in favor of the English language that’s perceived to be much more sophisticated and career-boosting. Parents need to know that they aren’t doing their kids any favors by getting rid of Tagalog or other Philippine languages in their vocabulary.
always using an ipad to keep ur kid busy or calm them down is actually messing with their cognitive development. if ur going to use gadgets when parenting at least be involved and mindful of what u allow ur child to consume. https://t.co/F2D04kjKAg
— jusdani (@leanbeefmami) August 14, 2023
In the same way, the Internet would prod adults to “touch some grass” when they’ve had too much time doomscrolling, young Pinoys want to tell other parents to give screens a break. Kids don’t need to be watching Cocomelon when they’re throwing a tantrum. Too much screen time would encourage hyperactivity, less sensory stimulation, and less engagement with the real world. So, respectfully, let your kids touch some grass.
walang utang na loob sa inyo ang mga anak niyo dahil responsibilidad niyo yun bilang isang magulang. ang utang na loob ay kusang lalabas sa inyong mga anak kung kayo ba ay naging isang mabuting ehemplo sa kanila. https://t.co/UqovKpbb1j
— dio, chra, rpm (@epiremphrine) August 16, 2023
Whether they admit it or not, a lot of parents are guilty of turning their kids into a retirement plan. They would often guilt them by recounting how much money, time, and effort they’ve spent just to raise their kids. News flash: If you have kids, they’re your obligation and not the other way around.
Never use “hangga’t nasa pamamahay kita…” phrase because it may slowly make your kids disappear from you and that they would just treat your home as just a house. https://t.co/OdMwHxitwE
— Verge (@VergilChua) August 16, 2023
Pinoy rage is a nasty thing but it’s even more hurtful when a parent directs it at their child. Phrases like “Hangga’t nasa pamamahay kita..” only breeds anger. If it isn’t processed properly, the resentment builds overtime until parents are surprised their kid has been harboring anger all this time.
1. Growing up as products of their times doesn’t give parents a free pass from accountability.
2. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know that I hurt you” is NOT an apology.
3. “Sala sa init, sala sa lamig” is not an acceptable way for us offspring to live just because parents are parents. https://t.co/08hnLnif09
— ポーラカタリーナ is a happy and content solo diner. (@paulakatarina) August 14, 2023
Parents should break the cycle of bad parenting practices that raised them. It’s a kind of generational trauma that good parents wouldn’t want to hand down to their kids. But if it’s already too late and you’ve been raised like a product of your parents’ times, it’s up to you to make sure you don’t pass it down to your kids.
Rather than being punitive, too strict, and demanding, parents should be more sensitive to their children’s emotional needs. Children who are raised by overly strict and inconsistent parents are more prone to mental health problems and delinquency. https://t.co/lbz2nN6Rx7
— Your Millennial Psychologist (@riyanportuguez) August 14, 2023
Pinoy parents believe that their kids should be tough and resilient like them but what they should know is that kids are kids. They’re young. They need help learning and processing everything around them. Parents who are more sensitive to their children’s emotional needs produce intellectual offspring who will have a better chance to grow up as mature individuals.
That you should teach your kids to speak up when they are right and would like to defend themselves.
Let your kids be heard.
Don’t label/call them “BASTOS” for speaking up to the older people.
Silence paves way for abuse. https://t.co/9omi7vdSf6
— JΛIП (@drainedjain) August 15, 2023
Teaching kids to voice out their thoughts helps them gain confidence in expressing themselves. It lets them know that what they have to say is important, even if they’re conversing with adults. Parents who encourage silence might raise kids prone to abuse and strip away their confidence.
As you get older, you’d realize that some of your parents’ parenting styles are not ideal, but you don’t have to take it against them because probably that was also just learned from their own parents. Just try to be better when you become a parent yourself. https://t.co/QAkqMFiMtF
— Claudiopoi #KayodKalabawEra (@claudiopoy) August 14, 2023
Our parents might’ve made mistakes in raising us but they’re only human. They tried their best with what they’ve been given and we, in turn, need to cut them some slack. But being a victim of bad parenting should stop with you, now that you know what’s right. If you realize the wrongs in the way you’ve been raised, it’s your responsibility to avoid passing it down to the next generation.
Kyzia spends most of her time capturing the world around her through photos, paragraphs, and playlists. She is constantly on the hunt for the perfect chocolate chip cookie, and a great paperback thriller to pair with it.
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