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8 Kinds of Classmates We All Went to School With


Our parents always told us to choose our friends wisely, because “tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are”… or something like that. It wasn’t until we hit our college years that we began to truly appreciate the way our friendships in grade school and high school truly shaped (and traumatized) us.

Is it just us, or by some strange, time and universe bending magick did all of us end up going to school with pretty much the same people? Here’s to the 8 classmates we all went to school with!

8. The Klepto

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From your favorite Maped eraser to the Moleskin you saved up all quarter for, even down to the only left-handed desktable on your year’s floor, nothing was sacred to the class kleptomaniac. Every time we left the room we were tempted to take our entire school bag with us for fear of losing any more pencils or homework.

 


7. The Smelly Kid

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We didn’t get it – their hair would be wet in the mornings during flag ceremony, so we were pretty sure they had taken a morning shower, but for some unfathomable reason despite their amazing company and personality, they always carried with them an undeniable funk that no amount of stealthily offered baby cologne or body spray could remedy.

 

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6. The Snitch

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Ah, everyone’s favorite person. Your first (and last) encounter with The Snitch provided you with proof you never asked for that your parents were right: Trust, once broken, is a very difficult thing to fix.

 

5. The Kiss-Ass

 

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They either had their hand perpetually in the air to answer the teacher’s rhetorical questions or tailed them around like the loyal pet they were. Whatever the case was, they were insufferable, and good practice at tuning people down to white noise.


4. The Worst

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The Worst was just that – the absolute worst. They spread rumors about you, stole your lunch, tattled on you to the teachers, pushed you into muddle puddles on the first day of class, popped their zits next to you on the bus, stole your diary and read it out loud, and even told your crush you liked them. The Worst had no redeeming qualities and made our school existence a living hell, but hey, all good. They showed you that you could survive anything.


3. The Buraot

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No recess time or lunch hour was safe with The Buraot around. No bag of chips was left untouched and no tupperware full of your mom’s specialty spaghetti was ever all yours. In retrospect, we wonder why they were so hungry when they always had their own food…. Maybe they just liked the taste of other people’s spit? In which case, eeew!

 

2. The Crush ng Bayan

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Did your heart even beat before you first spied the Crush ng Bayan across the quad? Or maybe you never quite got the hype until they said hi to you during the school fair? Whichever the case may be, you got bitten by the love bug, and it turned out to be a very tough lesson in unrequited love. To this day you freeze when you run into them on nights out around in the city, resulting in you getting drunk and going home to watch 10 Things I Hate About You for the billionth time.

 

1. Yung Weird

 

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We had no words for them back then, and we still don’t to this day. They were twitchy, smelled like incense, and said very awkward things out of no where. They were friends with the other weird ones from the other batches, and magically managed to stay off the radar for most of the school year. Out of curiosity we’ve searched for them on social media, and they’re either already millionaires or are nowhere to be found. Wait, did we imagine them? Were we the weird ones? Dun dun dun.

 

Who were the kids you went to school with? Tell us about them! We’d love to hear all about it!

 


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