8List.ph
  • News
    • Showbiz
    • Opinion
    • Sports
    • Profiles
    • Weird
  • Adulting
    • Career
    • Money
    • Health
    • School & Learning
    • Relationships
  • Pop
    • Movies & TV
    • Music
    • Books
    • Games
    • Theater
    • Retro
    • K-World
  • Lifestyle
    • Style
    • Beauty
    • Food & Drink
    • Nest
    • Tech
    • Travel
    • Pinoy
  • Videos
    • 8List Asks
    • Pagsubeks
    • Kaya Today!
    • Archives
      • 8list Plays
      • 8List Explores
      • 8List Presents
      • 88 Seconds
      • 8secs
      • Filgood
      • Isabuhay Ang Panata
      • #8MinutesWith
      • YOUth DECIDE
      • Str8 Up with Delamar
      • Toughest Job 2016
  • H8 Mondays
  • Breathe
  • About
  • Sitemap
  • Advertise
  • Privacy
  • Archive
  • Bitesized.ph
  • Windowseat.ph

 

 

 

8List.ph is published by ID8, Inc.

Subscribe
8List.ph
8List.ph
  • News
    • Showbiz
    • Opinion
    • Sports
    • Profiles
    • Weird
  • Adulting
    • Career
    • Money
    • Health
    • School & Learning
    • Relationships
  • Pop
    • Movies & TV
    • Music
    • Books
    • Games
    • Theater
    • Retro
    • K-World
  • Lifestyle
    • Style
    • Beauty
    • Food & Drink
    • Nest
    • Tech
    • Travel
    • Pinoy
  • Videos
    • 8List Asks
    • Pagsubeks
    • Kaya Today!
    • Archives
      • 8list Plays
      • 8List Explores
      • 8List Presents
      • 88 Seconds
      • 8secs
      • Filgood
      • Isabuhay Ang Panata
      • #8MinutesWith
      • YOUth DECIDE
      • Str8 Up with Delamar
      • Toughest Job 2016
  • H8 Mondays
  • Breathe
  • Adulting

8 Ways to Explain Your Not-So-Traditional Job at the Christmas Family Reunion

  • Posted on Dec 11, 2015Dec 11, 2015
  • 0 minute read
  • Kel Fabie
Total
0
Shares
0
0
0

8 Ways to Explain Your Not-So-Traditional Job at the Christmas Family Reunion

8-Ways-to-Explain-Your-Not-So-Traditional-Job-at-the-Christmas-Family-Reunion_H

As someone who has almost never worked a “traditional job” my entire professional career, I’ve had to endure blank looks or worse, pained grimaces of apparent disappointment from relatives at reunions. It doesn’t matter if you’re a success or if you even own your own startup company: if you’re not a doctor or a lawyer or part of some huge multinational they’ve heard of, they will probably think you’re some kind of a deadbeat underachiever—especially if you work the night shift in a tech company.

Well, fear not! Here’s a step-by-step guide to making sure exactly what it is you do, if you’re not doing any of those so-called traditional jobs the older generation is all too expectant we’d be doing…

8. Try to compare what you do to a traditional job.

No matter what your job is, it’s sure to have some parallels with the traditional ones. Try to explain it in those terms: an e-sports player is like a professional sports athlete but with an even shorter career span. A social media specialist is like the neighborhood chismoso, but on a computer. A call center agent is a rank and file office employee who gets screamed at by random people who don’t know any better in the middle of the night, like a funeral parlor director dealing with even more soul-crushing ennui.

8-Ways-to-Explain-Your-Not-So-Traditional-Job-at-the-Christmas-Family-Reunion_p8

Via buzzfeed.com

Meeting ghosts would be far less stressful.


7. Show them tangible projects you’ve done.

If they don’t understand the mechanics of your work, they hopefully understand your output. Show them the projects you’ve done! Like how many times you made a certain hashtag trend, or the multiple apps you’ve developed they can now play on their phones, or how many people bought your lovely hand-painted cat skulls from Etsy. They want to know what you’ve done, show them what you have wrought with your own two hands.

8-Ways-to-Explain-Your-Not-So-Traditional-Job-at-the-Christmas-Family-Reunion_p8

Via buzzfeed.com

Hello, kitty!

6. Remind them that there were always new industries the older generations didn’t understand back in the day.

Who needed an IT department in the early ‘80s if you weren’t, say, Microsoft? These things are now commonplace, yet there was a point in history where nobody thought these jobs would exist. And someday, when our robot overlords take over everything we love and hold dear, surely, there will be countless openings for those who would glorify the might and splendor of Skynet. All hail!

Via wikia.com

It’s time they knew the truth.


5. Lock the doors.

8-Ways-to-Explain-Your-Not-So-Traditional-Job-at-the-Christmas-Family-Reunion_p8

This will be important for the succeeding steps. Trust me.

4. Explain to them that their suffering will be quick and minimal if they submit to the will of Skynet. Now.

Because they are family and you love them, you need to explain to them very carefully that all those who choose to rebel against assimilation will be utterly annihilated in a painful manner. Remind them that there will be a need for their traditional jobs as well: doctors to aid the fleshlings, architects and engineers to produce facilities for the mass-production of T-Series cyborgs, and so forth. If they’re lawyers, though, they’re kinda out of luck, since Skynet will serve as judge, jury, and executioner.

8-Ways-to-Explain-Your-Not-So-Traditional-Job-at-the-Christmas-Family-Reunion_p8

Via comicvine.com

OBEY


3. Ask them to calm down and stay seated.

If you did #4 with ruthless aplomb, some of your relatives might be making their way to the doors to escape you. This is exactly why you did #5 first.

8-Ways-to-Explain-Your-Not-So-Traditional-Job-at-the-Christmas-Family-Reunion_p8

Proper planning precedes perfect persuasion.

2. Tell them there is no escape.

None.

8-Ways-to-Explain-Your-Not-So-Traditional-Job-at-the-Christmas-Family-Reunion_p8

None at all.

1. Remind them that with your newfangled job they don’t understand, you’re always watching. Always.

At this point, you may choose to let your relatives go, but only after you’ve imparted upon them the very important knowledge that resistance is futile, and any attempts they make at alerting the authorities about the oncoming cyborg invasion will only yield unspeakable pain and suffering for them. When you let them go, they will have a newfound appreciation and respect for your job: the kind they couldn’t possibly have had before you had this conversation with them.

8-Ways-to-Explain-Your-Not-So-Traditional-Job-at-the-Christmas-Family-Reunion_p8
8-Ways-to-Explain-Your-Not-So-Traditional-Job-at-the-Christmas-Family-Reunion_p8

Via forums.worldofwarriors.com

, writtalin.com

Skynet sees all.


Total
0
Shares
0
0
0
Avatar photo
Kel Fabie

Kel Fabie. is a DJ, host, mentalist, satirist, comedian, and a long-time contributor to 8List (Hello, ladies!). He has an Oscar, a Pulitzer, a Nobel, and two other weirdly-named pet dogs. He blogs on mistervader.com.

Previous Article
  • Pop

8 Really Good Reasons to Watch “Creed”

  • Posted on Dec 10, 2015
  • Karl R. De Mesa
View Post
Next Article
  • Opinion

8 Reasons Why Steph Curry is the Most Exciting Player in the NBA Right Now

  • Posted on Dec 11, 2015Dec 11, 2015
  • Jaime Gonzalo
View Post
You May Also Like
View Post
  • Adulting

What are the Tackiest Things Filipinos Do on Social Media? Pinoy Redditors Weigh In

  • Posted on Jan 26, 2023Jan 26, 2023
  • Edgardo Toledo
View Post
  • Adulting

Unjust Vexation: Yes, Annoying Someone is a Crime and Is Punishable By Law

  • Posted on Jan 19, 2023
  • Kyzia Maramara
View Post
  • Adulting

8 Ways You Can Invest Your Hard-Earned Money on Yourself This 2023

  • Posted on Jan 6, 2023
  • Kyzia Maramara
View Post
  • Adulting
  • Showbiz

Donnalyn Bartolome Irks Netizens with Her ‘Tone-Deaf’ Back-to-Work Post

  • Posted on Jan 4, 2023
  • Edgardo Toledo
View Post
  • Adulting

Dear Future Self: An Open Letter to the 2023 Me

  • Posted on Jan 4, 2023Jan 4, 2023
  • Edgardo Toledo
your 2023 era
View Post
  • Adulting

QUIZ: In 2023, You’ll Be Entering Your ____Era

  • Posted on Jan 3, 2023Jan 3, 2023
  • Cristina Morales
View Post
  • Adulting

8 Things You Should Stop Doing in 2023 So Humanity Can *Actually* Improve for a Change

  • Posted on Dec 30, 2022Dec 29, 2022
  • Cristina Morales
View Post
  • Adulting

New Year, Who You?: How to Reinvent Yourself for 2023

  • Posted on Dec 29, 2022Dec 29, 2022
  • Kyzia Maramara

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get the l8est delivered right to your inbox.

8List.ph
  • About
  • Sitemap
  • Advertise
  • Privacy
  • Archive
  • Bitesized.ph
  • Windowseat.ph
Your daily dose of entertaining, useful and informative lists.

Input your search keywords and press Enter.