Things You’ll Know When Growing up with a Strict Lola
By Therese Aseoche
If you think growing up with strict parents is a pain, try growing up with a strict grandmother. The wrath of the self-proclaimed boss of the household is the one thing we try our hardest to avoid, but get anyway—and usually over the smallest of mistakes. If you’re one of us who got scolded and looked down on for deviating from our grandmother’s idea of perfection (a.k.a. someone exactly like her), you’ll know the following to be true.
8. The only acceptable time to get a bae is at 30 years old.
Even if you’re in your late 20s, your strict grandmother will still view you as a child and under their control. Conservative grandmothers, most especially, will look disapprovingly at your relationship and will be ready to attack the moment they catch you kissing or hugging or even holding hands.
7. She will always wake you up two hours before school starts.
It’s so you won’t get caught in traffic during the morning rush. Even if your school’s just 15 minutes away.
6. You must finish all the food on your plate.
Yes, you have to finish that mountain of rice she puts on your plate alongside your measly serving of ulam, because eating all of her food is a sign of your indebtedness and love for her cooking.
5. You hear “O, ano, sira na ‘no?” every time you drop your phone accidentally.
Every. Single. Time.
4. You can’t stay out past 9P.M.
Even if your parents allow you to be home by midnight, you’ll never hear the end of your grandmother’s scolding for coming home so late. Even worse than that is when our parents also get a taste of her anger for being too lenient on their kids.
3. It doesn’t matter if your parents approve of your bae.
If your grandmother doesn’t, then she never will. She might even be the first to chase your bae out of your house and out of your life before anyone else can.
2. Her territory and possessions are off-limits.
If you need a sewing kit, you know you’re better off buying your own than borrowing from your grandmother’s supplies. One misplaced item and you will never hear the end of it from her. If she’s the one who cooks in your household, she’ll never let you cook a dish without her supervision (read: complete control).
1. You must always act like royalty
That means keeping your back straight all the time lest you’ll end up like Quasimodo, or Anne Curtis in Kampanerang Kuba, and die alone and ugly.
What other things do you know to be true when growing up with a strict lola? Share with us your stories below!