For those of us who take buses, it’s not uncommon to see one equipped with a DVD player which allows passengers to while away the time stuck in traffic. Every now and then, we’ll catch a pirated copy of the latest blockbuster film still showing in the cinemas. More often than not, however, I’ve noticed that there are a few films that bus drivers or conductors must universally agree to keep showing for no apparent reason.
Personally, I will never understand why the tastes of so many different bus drivers has led to the weirdest mix of movie choices, such as…
This classic 1987 film starring the late Fernando Poe, Jr. and Eddie Garcia is an odd choice because it’s the only FPJ film I keep seeing in buses. This is the one where FPJ plays an honest cop while his corrupt boss is played by Eddie Garcia. Then again, how many FPJ films can be described the exact same way?
Of course, there’s also a chance that I’m getting the title of the film wrong, because there are just way too many films starring FPJ and Eddie Garcia together.
Defining Moment: The classic exchange of “Shet ka” and “Shet ka rin” between the villain and the hero, respectively, never fails to get my attention. Neither does it fail to elicit laughter from the entire bus.
This horrible “comedy” is one of the worst films you will ever see, and the multiple times I’ve encountered it on a bus lead to me immediately getting off it. The film, if you can call it that, is a non-stop onslaught of homophobic humor coupled with impersonators and pop-culture references with no actual punchlines.
Unfortunately for me, I had no choice but to endure the entire film one time, because I was in a bus bound to Baguio instead of one simply plying EDSA. The horror. The horror!
Defining Moment: When a Britney Spears lookalike shaving her head is kicked into a pit because damned if I (or any of us, for that matter) know why.
Proving that “attitude” isn’t the only thing bad about Dennis Rodman, “Double Team” was his attempt at film immortality, as he starred with the equally “talented” Jean Claude Van Damme. This is the film where basketball puns and copious bottles of hair dye went to, well, die.
Defining Moment: This amazing exchange between Rodman and Van Damme:
Yaz: The last guy that made fun of my hair is still trying to pull his head out of his ass.
Quinn: I don’t want to know about your sex life.
This 1996 film starring Mario Van Peebles (Who?!?) is a classic only in the sense that it’s almost 20 years old. It’s one of those films that’s so dull and unremarkable that you don’t remember a thing about it no matter how many times it plays on loop in a bus bound for La Union.
Defining Moment: When Solo laughs during the last part of the film. It’s almost as if he’s laughing at us for making it through until the ending.
In 2010, Yuen Wo-Ping came up with another one of his martial arts epics, and this one starred the late David Carradine in one of his many posthumous roles. Truth be told, the weirdest part of this film was seeing the clearly non-Asian Carradine standing out like a sore thumb in an Asian film, but nonetheless performing respectably well.
This film is a delight to watch for the action scenes alone, and makes me wish I had access to a 3D TV (because two of its best action sequences were recorded in 3D).
Defining Moment: When Beggar Su uses his Drunken Fist style, he flawlessly mixes classic martial arts moves with some kickass breakdancing.
A favorite for buses and pirated DVD stalls, Kung Pow is a cult classic comedy film that took footage from an old 1970s Kung-Fu flick, “Tiger and Crane Fist,” which was then dubbed over (singlehandedly, might I add!) and spliced with new footage to create a new and completely unrelated story.
Most people cite the fight scene between The Chosen One and The Cow as the most memorable part of the film, but I actually beg to differ.
Defining Moment: I feel compelled to share two defining moments here: The first has to be when Master Tang was recounting the time he met Master Doe, and he was told that there will be a Chosen One…
Master Doe: There will be a chosen one.
The second moment was when Master Doe further explained its significance.
Master Doe: It will be significant.
This film really had me wondering for days what the title was. It was such a strange and hilariously bad film, especially when Ricky randomly started doing Kung-Fu in the rain when he discovered that his friend died. There were no subtitles the first time I saw this film, but I was hooked the minute Ricky started punching through people! And Cynthia Luster also starred!
Before I knew it, Ricky turned out to be a supporting character in the “Ip Man” film series 17 years later, and I realized that there is justice in this world: Ricky still has a job!
Defining Moment: Maybe the one where Ricky punches through the prison wall, which was apparently something he had the power to do? I mean why didn’t he do it at the start?!? Then again, if you want something more comprehensive, feast your eyes on this masterpiece:
And if that’s not enough, why not watch the whole movie?
Imagine riding a bus, worrying if you’re going to be safe, what with all the accidents that have been happening recently… And then this movie starts playing. Why?!?
Defining Moment: The part where I get off the bus before I start hyperventilating.
What are the movies that are constantly on loop whenever you take the bus? Share them with us in the comments!