Rock and Roll To The World! 8 of Ryan Rems’ Best Zingers

Though he has been doing comedy for a while now with Comedy Manila, Sarita made waves thanks to It’s Showtime’s “Funny One” segment, a competition in search for the next budding comedian. He got a score of a flat-out 9 out of 10 and with that, a star was born.

Sarita’s offbeat, witty and non sequitur jokes are reminiscent of Mitch Hedberg and Steven Wright. The guy is FUNNY. Do yourself a favor and check him out. In his own words: “Hindi lahat ng kanta sa album, maganda. Hindi rin lahat ng joke ko, nakakatawa. Tanggapin niyo na lang.”

Cue the guitar riff. Here are a few of Ryan Rems Sarita’s funniest jokes:

8. On infidelity

“Alam niyo kagabi, nag-away kame ng girlfriend ko. Sabi niya, alam ko may bago kang babae. 18 years old. Sabi ko, huli ka na sa balita. 25 na siya ngayon.”

 

7. On Whitney Houston and Addiction

“Alam niyo, nung namatay si Whitney Houston, bigla akong nag-panic. Sabi ko sa nanay ko, Nay, tignan mo yung balita, si Whitney Houston nalunod sa kanyang bathtub habang sabog na sabog sa droga. Sabi ng nanay ko, wag ka mag panic. Wala tayong bathtub.”

 

6. On the healing powers of laughter

“Alam niyo, sabi nila laughter is the best medicine. Kaya’t nung nasa hospital ang tatay ko, pinatawa ko nang pinatawa. Ayun, namatay siyang nakangiti.”

5. On choosy beggars

“Alam niyo, naawa ako sa pulubing vegetarian. Bakit ka naman magve-vegetarian, e pulubi ka na nga.”

 

4. On the powers of pancit

“Sabi nila, kapag kumain ka ng pancit, hahaba ang buhay mo. So mamaya, kapag may nakakita kayo ng pulis na nabaril, pakainin niyo ng pancit. Hindi kayo mamamatay chief, may pancit ako.”

3. On dreaming big

“Nung bata ako, iisa lang ang aking pangarap: yan ay ang makapagtapos ng kolehiyo. So nung nakapagtapos nako, wala nakong pangarap.”

2. On being a really inefficient criminal

“Alam niyo nasubukan ko na rin maging carnapper. Problema lang, hindi ako marunong mag-drive. Kaya ginagawa ko, stina-start ko lang yung kotse at nag-iiwan ako ng note: hindi ako marunong mag-drive.”\

1. On dementia and neurodegenerative disease

“Alam niyo, ang lola ko namatay na may Alzheimer’s disease. Ang problema lang dun, nalilimutan lang niya na patay na siya.”

Woo rock and roll to the world!

What are your favorite jokes from Ryan Rem? Leave a comment and share the laughs with us!