This Week in Weird: Pancit Canton Redesigns, Tsismosa Brigade, and Baby Daddy Tom Holland
Jul 24, 2020   •   Kyzia Maramara
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Jul 24, 2020   •   Kyzia Maramara
It’s getting increasingly difficult to tell the days apart when you’re spending it inside the four corners of your home. But have no fear, your favorite day of the week is here! Take a rest from the abundance of bad news out there and check out the weirdest ones we’ve stumbled on this week:
‘I haven’t seen such a turtle in my life ever’ – Rare yellow turtle rescued in India pic.twitter.com/RyIYxQv7Mz
— Reuters (@Reuters) July 20, 2020
Albino turtles are a thing?! A farmer in eastern India stumbled upon a shiny golden turtle while he was out working in the fields. The bizarre creature was turned over to conservation experts, who said that it was the first time they’ve seen anything like it. They attributed the yellow color to a congenital disorder characterized by a lack of tyrosine pigment (the stuff that helps produce melanin). The turtle has since been released into the wild and is free to live its natural lemony life.
What happens when people have too much time on their hands with loads of creativity to unleash? They take the classics and turn them into… whatever they feel like. The past few days saw a number of Pancit Canton redesign proposals, ranging from the awesome to the absurd. You be the judge.
Baby wipes? Soap? Nope, it’s Pancit Canton. Here are the complete variants, if you’re curious.
It’s getting better, y’all. We’d actually buy this.
Pancit Canton in on-the-go cups.
A month ago, Xander Ford’s ex-girlfriend accused the personality of physically abusing and sexually assaulting her. The now-deleted Facebook post garnered thousands of reactions with netizens calling Ford to own up to his crimes. Instead of resolving the matter, he instead went on to reveal that he identifies as bisexual and he actually has a boyfriend. A video of him cross-dressing and transforming into “Xandra” back in May 2020 resurfaced.
However, many in the LGBTQIA+ community think all this is just a diversion tactic to make the public forget his wrongdoings.
xander ford claiming that he is bisexual to distract the people that he raped his girlfriend and making this alibi as a scapegoat is a big insult to me and the LGBTQIA+ community, especially the bisexuals, hindi na siya nakakatuwa promise pic.twitter.com/wGMEu2mqcC
— raffaello #JoinPandaySining (@raffaellopark) July 22, 2020
im so sick of seeing xander ford’s pics and vids showing he’s feminine because he’s “bi” when he’s just obviously using it to cover up his rape issue tanginamo marlou tama ka na pic.twitter.com/DFCbHSZ83g
— chernobyl (@jewelmavequezon) July 22, 2020
View this post on Instagram
…hindi ko gustong buhayin ang chismis; that is the farthest from my intention. Nais ko lng linawin ang mga naganap sa Robinson’s Galleria nun dalaga pa ako. I made promise to a dear friend – I said I would tell my side of the story this year at dahil 30 year anniversary na this month, it is NOW time. Yes, 3 decades na! And I’ve never said a word or explained my side. Kaya if you are one of the many na gusto nyo malaman ang totoo, panoorin nyo etong kuento ko sa akin YouTube channel very soon. #TheTruth #Robinsons #Galleria #AliceDixson #TaongAhas #SnakeMan #RobinsonsGalleria #YouTube #Vlog
A post shared by Alice Dixson (@alicedixson) on
It’s a rite of passage for Filipino kids to get traumatized by the urban legend about Robinsons Galleria. In case you’re clueless, legend has it that a mutant snake would wait underneath department store fitting rooms and once it finds a woman it desires, the room’s floor would open and she would fall straight into the creature’s mouth. Scary stuff, right? The rumors went as far as saying actress Alice Dixson was a survivor who was paid by the Gokongwei family to keep her mouth shut about the incident. Three decades later, Alice is ready to speak up about it in her upcoming vlog.
“I made promise to a dear friend – I said I would tell my side of the story this year at dahil 30 year anniversary na this month, it is NOW time,” she posts on Instagram.
No one ever really knew who started those rumors (maybe it was to scare women into avoiding overspending on clothes) but we’re about to find out.
the fact that TOM HOLLAND is a FATHER now……time flies
— ً (@giawbloom) July 20, 2020
NGL, this tweet scared me.
Imagine the collective shock of clueless Tom Holland fans when the dashing lad’s name trended the other day. It wasn’t about a new Spider-Man movie, it was about him being the father to Nicki Minaj’s baby. What?! Tom, at 24 years old, already a father?! Some of us aren’t even in relationships.
Turns out it was a long-standing joke between Holland’s fans, the origin of which remains unclear. Some just thought it would be hilarious to pair up Holland and Minaj and give other people heart attacks. Not that they don’t look cute together or anything.
— Mary (@arixplanet) July 20, 2020
Looks like he’s been a dad for YEARS already.
Minaj recently announced her pregnancy on Instagram. The baby’s actual father is her husband Kenneth Perry whom she married in 2019. Holland, on the other hand, is currently dating actress Nadia Parkes.
congrats to Tom Holland and Nicki Minaj on their new baby ❤️❤️ pic.twitter.com/ydDKKeDfco
— jordan¹ᴰ | ミ☆ (@tomscvm) July 20, 2020
BREAKING: Tom Holland departs Spider-Man role following the news of his first child.
“I love the role [of Spider-Man], but Nicki [Minaj] needs me. She’s going to be a wonderful mother, and I want to be the husband she deserves.” pic.twitter.com/sYkvbRbydJ
— Le Cinéphiles (@LeCinephiles) July 21, 2020
— Susie Blackmon (@SusieBlackmon) July 22, 2020
Instead of finding a way to save sturgeons (fish responsible for producing the world’s finest caviar) from extinction, Hungarian scientists accidentally made a new hybrid. The creature is part American paddlefish and part Russian sturgeon or in other words, a Frankenfish although it doesn’t look as freaky. Scientists gave it an unofficial name of “sturddlefish” and they are miraculously surviving so far. The researchers admitted that the incident has “has taken [them] closer to [their] aims.”
Maybe they could breed bangus and tilapia too and call it a BangPia or TilaNgus.
On Monday, President Rodrigo Duterte recommended soaking face masks in gasoline or diesel to kill the dreaded COVID virus. He also suggested spraying with alcohol or Lysol to disinfect it. Department of Health Undersecretary Maria Rosario Vergeire and Presidential Spokesperson Harry Roque later assured the public that the president’s remarks were only a joke. So no, don’t dunk your masks, or your hands, in gasoline.
Seriously? Cebu police enlists friendly neighborhood ‘tsimosas’ as contact tracers https://t.co/wocML9eUi3
— Maria Ressa (@mariaressa) July 22, 2020
The Central Visayas regional police suggested that local gossipmongers or ‘tsismosas’ might be the key to speed up contact tracing for COVID. Brig. Gen. Albert Ferro called it the ‘tsismosa brigade,’ an idea he said was inspired by a story in Bulacan province. The story was actually about the small Bambang town in Nueva Vizcaya where community doctor Anthony Cortez asked people, particularly elderly women, to report arrivals in the village to help them contain potential COVID risks.
The method has greatly helped in Bambang. But it might not work for a city as huge as Cebu, the city with the highest cases in the country. Netizens did not hesitate to express their concerns on confidentiality and credibility (can we really trust busybodies?). Besides, who would want to be labeled as the designated tsismosa of your barangay?
This why the Philippines is leading in COVID-19 cases in SE Asia. Whilst our neighboring countries are using the fruit of science and tech, here we are eyeing for the tsismosas’ role in contact tracing.
Where are the billions? Pasahod sa mga tsismosa?
WHERE. ARE. THE. BILLIONS? https://t.co/vggkHg3ioT
— (@axcelquing_) July 22, 2020
“Ay alam mo ba kun pano nagkacovid si Margaret? Nun isang gabi pinuntahan nia si Boyet kasi miss na miss nia na jowa nia. Etong si Boyet anak yan ni Tiyo Pilo na tumakas lang sa quarantine facility kasi isang buwan na hindi pa lumalabas ang result ng test…”
— Joaquin Closet (@andy_crush) July 22, 2020
Kaya nga palagi may away sa Barangay dahil sa mga pesteng chismosot-chismosa. Kung magkalat ng balita mali na nga may dagdag-bawas pa. Tapos ngayon kukunin niyo contact tracer.
— LAHING PINOY (@lahingpnoy) July 22, 2020
What’s the weirdest news you’ve seen all week?
Kyzia spends most of her time capturing the world around her through photos, paragraphs, and playlists. She is constantly on the hunt for the perfect chocolate chip cookie, and a great paperback thriller to pair with it.
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