8 Types of Pinoy Fuccbois
The Pinoy fuccboi is an elusive creature, usually able to successfully exist within various social circles, depending on where his gimik is or who he’s with. An evolution of the conyo douchebag, a fuccboi is the kind of guy that’s all walk with no talk, defined by Urban Dictionary (aka the millennial’s Encyclopedia Britanica) as “a bitch ass basic boy that does stupid shit just to get a reaction out of people. Fucc bois usually think that they are cool or suave, but they are not. They tend to be pussy ass bitches in most situations.” Let’s not forget their most defining characteristic: thinking mostly with their second, smaller head.
Alternately, the term fuccboi can also be thrown at people you don’t like in general. In the Philippines, the fuccboi is incredibly nuanced. A fuccboi can be one or all of the following.
Don’t let their close relationship with their mother fool you. As sweet as these boys seem on the surface, they’re all about “chicks” and Tinder the second their momma’s turn their backs. At first it will be cute that they can’t even boil an egg, but dimples and a cute smile won’t change a car tire for you—nor will they pay for a date when their parents forget to give them allowance.
Usually spotted at Pool Club, these fuccbois are all about dat champagne poppin’ life. Apart from donning ridiculously low v-necks and weather-inappropriate lounge jackets, these guys have never heard of socks—or maybe they just choose not to wear them with their loafers. Everything about them screams “social climber,” and can usually be overheard talking about how hot the last girl they hooked up with was.
The Hypebeast may seem harmless on the surface, but when your tenth date in a row is spent at the mall and you can’t wash the smell of new sneakers out of your shirt, you’ll understand the grief. They never talk about anything but the next pair of sneakers they want to cop, or how much they love Kanye. They also spend more time getting ready to go out than you do.
This activist kuno only cares about the issues that society deems important at the time. For all their use of polysyllabic words and passionate speeches about the state of society, they still mostly get their information from Wikipedia and Tumblr and never take any action. These faux intellectuals use these “common interests and goals” to get with girls, pretending that they’re more socially aware than they are. Usually caught in the act flip-flopping on political opinions and paying more attention to their likes on Facebook than on you.