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It’s Written In The Stars: What Their Zodiac Signs Say About President Duterte And 8 Other People

  • Posted on Dec 12, 2016Dec 12, 2016
  • 0 minute read
  • Kel Fabie
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Born on March 28, President Rodrigo Duterte is an Aries, through and through. They are the proverbial infants: spontaneous, incisive, and daring. It’s hard to disagree with what the stars have to say in today’s day and age, so why don’t we see how compatible this Aries head of state happens to be with a few key people he is in close proximity with at the moment.

8. Honeylet Avanceña: February 16 (Aquarius)

The president’s longtime partner, Honeylet, is an Aquarian. An Aquarian is creative, and insightful, which makes them very complementary of each other, indeed. Apparently, a relationship between an Arian and an Aquarian is “fun, free, and exciting.”

“Fun, free, and exciting” explains all the affairs the president is proud to flaunt, and Honeylet’s complicitness with said affairs.

 

7. Chief Justice Maria Lourdes Sereno: July 2 (Cancer)

An inherent clash between the familial Cancerian and the free-spirits Arian is always in the making, which explains the frequent clash in legal opinion between the president and the Chief Justice, and the obvious clash they would have romantically. The Ram wishes to teach the Crab about independence. The Crab wishes to teach the Ram about compassion.

No, seriously. I’m not trying to make this stuff up. It’s all the link in the intro.

 

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6. Senator Leila De Lima: August 27 (Virgo)

Ah, yes. The Virgo. Let’s not make any snide jokes here. The Virgin and the Ram are both supposedly honest, if not outspoken. There is an element of magnetism between the two, but a long relationship cannot possibly be certain. While the Virgo thinks that she can provide healthy criticism, to the Aries, there is no such thing as “healthy” criticism.

Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Yihee. Epic hatef***, ahoy!

 

5. Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago+: June 15 (Gemini)

The late Senator was often paired up with the president during the campaign period, and their apparent mutual respect for each other ended up making them “DuRiam” for most of the past year. Both Aries and Gemini have zero tolerance for boredom and will get rid of anything dull, which says a whole lot about these two. There are very few obstacles to these two hitting it off.

If Miriam were still alive, maybe Digong would be singing “Bakit Ngayon Ka Lang” at the government Christmas party this year. That’s a thing, right?

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Kel Fabie

Kel Fabie. is a DJ, host, mentalist, satirist, comedian, and a long-time contributor to 8List (Hello, ladies!). He has an Oscar, a Pulitzer, a Nobel, and two other weirdly-named pet dogs. He blogs on mistervader.com.


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