Where Is He Now? | 8 Possible Whereabouts of Jejomar Binay
By Tim Henares
Is it just us, or did the former Vice President of the Philippines just suddenly disappear from the face of the Earth?
From the fever pitch by which he was covered during the campaign period and the elections, to the disappearing act he pulled the minute the elections were over, it seems pretty amazing that VP Jejomar Binay just managed to blend back into the shadows as if it was just ain’t no thing.
As paragons of journalistic integrity, we have taken it upon ourselves to theorize where he might be. Here are 8 possible places the former Vice President might have disappeared off to.
8. A secret lair in Makati.
It really needs to be in Makati, right? Maybe that supposedly overpriced building is secretly the Philippine’s version of Camp Big Falcon?
Surprisingly, the pilots for the super robot hidden within are former presidential spokesperson Abigail Valte’s children. Y’know, Valte’s Five?
7. Starring in season two for “The Get Down”
You can expect him to fit right in simply because he’s bl…essed with so much good fortune after a rough life of poverty and coming from the streets. What were you thinking?
Hailing from the mean streets of Forbes…
6. Starring as one of the villains in “Alyas Robin Hood”
We’ve had exclusive word that the main villains of “Alyas Robin Hood” will sort of be patterned after the main villains of Arrow, but with a Filipino twist. Roderick Paulate will be Malcolm Merlyn, Troy Montero will be Deathstroke, Eddie Garcia will be Ra’s Al Ghul, and VP Binay will be…
Don’t say it!
5. In Marlene Aguilar’s basement.
Isn’t that where fugitives love hiding out?
No idea why, though.
4. Making political jingles for 2022.
“Only Binay” was the most memorable jingle of the 2016 elections, even if the VP didn’t win. Who knows what he might come up with?
We have an idea.
3. Wearing GMA’s castoffs.
No more wheelchair? No more neckbrace? The newly-minted deputy speaker of the house, former president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo may have miraculously recovered from whatever ailed her during her incarceration, but now, her former tormentor could put her discarded amenities to good use, since he’s facing a lot of criminal charges, too.
2. Sa puso mo.
Where every annoying person on Facebook works!
Or at Krabby Patty. Either one works.
1. With Oleta Adams
And with this very obscure reference, we conclude this list!