Let’s Get Physical!
Pre-Workout Rituals for Instant Energy
By Stu Balmaceda
Listen: Working out is serious business. It entails great sacrifice and enduring tremendous amounts of pain. Only then will you experience the gain.
Whether you’re into sports or just in the habit of staying deliciously-fit, going through the excruciating daily grind of fitness is no easy task; because it requires the single, most important workout supplement ever—consistent and unparalleled mental preparedness.
So, do you even prepare for your workout sessions like a boss? Do you psych yourself out like a mothaf@!#* to focus on the task at hand? How effectively do you enter your zone to attain an unlimited source of energy for countless reps? Well, if you don’t do any of that, you’re still in luck!
Here are 8 “highly-effective” pre-workout routines (that we like to think we can recommend) for all fitness buffs and noobs who want to maximize their workout energy through strong mental game!
8. Praying
Yup, you read that right, PRAY. And pray hard. For the departure of a good ol’ buddy of yours: body fat. So go and put on your best funeral black workout couture, grab a rosary, take the hand of your gym buddy, and pay respects to the jiggly, wobbly fat all over your body. In most cases, the loss of something or someone often leads to sadness, but not when it comes to eliminating fat. It’s instant motivation and inspiration for your workout party celebration!
7. Rocking Out
According to my father, listening to hard rock music flirts with the subconscious’ tendency to surface in glorious, destructive fashion—that one day, all the angst and cut-throat music and lyrics could just blow up and destroy you. Well, let’s amplify everything then.
Close the door, switch off the lights, tune the speakers up to full blast, play some heart-pounding game sounds, raise both arms and rock the hell out! Just don’t be too careless and tire your body out because this is more for your head. You are a rockstar and you’re just about to kickstart your workout world tour. Then, unleash hell! Those weights will never know what hit them.
6. Social Media Stalking
Uh huh, go full-on stalker mode and browse through your crush’s social media feed—particularly the beach photos where they’re extra smoking and surrounded by their harem of ripped, beautiful friends. Remember all the times you wanted to wave and say hi but turned into the invisible man instead? Your goal is to surpass them all. Yeah, it’s a bit creepy, but it works wonders! So, get angry, get pissed off, and get motivated! And when you get that beach bod, don’t even go for them! Ah, sweet, imaginary revenge.
5. Planning a post-workout meal
(for foodies)
If you have an insatiable appetite for good food and you have an oral fixation that requires you to have something delicious in your mouth all the time, then awesome. But do hold your cravings back for just a moment and click on all the mouthwatering food photos and videos on your feed first. Yes, you can have anything your heart desires of course…after working out!
4. Planning post-workout rehydration
(for drinkers)
Sweat, sweat, and sweat some more! Know that you’ll be rehydrating with gallons and gallons of water after your workout. Plus beer, wine, margaritas, martinis, mojitos, vodka, tequila, and more shots! Thirsty yet?
3. Throwback
Its reminisce o’clock, and that can only mean one thing: looking back to family reunions where titos and titas gave you sh*t for your weight. Feel the blood rush. Look in front of the mirror, nod your head, and dig deep into the memories. Hear their voices as though you’re standing in that moment once more. Let the tears roll off your face—use it as motivation to let the fat burn off you as well.
2. Destroying the bathroom
This is something universal. With all the protein shakes and supplements, farting, pooping, and sharting are all par for the course to weightlifters. Don’t risk having something slip down your gym shorts during leg day and hit the bathroom right before. Go to war! Drop ‘em bombs in the toilet before they get dropped in other places.
1. Channeling your inner fitspiration idols
We’ve been there…and we’re still there. Whether you’re in the car on the way to gym, destroying the bathroom or flexing in front of your full-body mirror, channel in your inner Leonidas, Achilles, Arnold, Baron and wrestling stars! Get psyched and pray to them for strength. Just say a few magic words and you’re good to go. Because when working out, there’s no retreat, no surrender, immortality is yours so take it, bigwasan mo kahit isa lang, and that’s the bottom line! Awoooo!
Do try these at your own risk of “humiliation,” though. But really, it’s all up to you to get yourself super psyched before working out. Just remember: it’s all to elevate what your body can do—before, during, and after exercising.
How do you get pumped up for your work out? Share your tried and tested methods in the comments below!
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